The hope and The brave- Bethyl story

BRAINSTORM

"Sometimes I think everything happened for a reason. Of course, before this, I dreamt of wedding dresses and raising kids in a beautiful farm near to my dad's. But they came and took every single dream away... And it was over. I was over but then I wasn't. I had a chance to end it but I wanted to live. That's the thing about this intense bittersweet state we're living... we don't get to choose anymore, either you live fully or you die."

I am holding Judith in my arms and waiting for Rick and Daryl and everyone else to determinate what to do with the new old threat... walkers... and humans. Daryl was clear and I think he is right, someone put those walkers inside the pit for a reason and I have trouble to find a good excuse for this. Judith is now so grown up. I can't help but imagine how life will be for her. She will survive, our Lil Asskicker... I chuckle as she claps joyfully unaware of the mess and chaos around us. I remember when I was that innocent. I kiss her head and I can hear daddy telling me not to worry. I miss him so much. Daryl would have been a piece of son in law. And now I'm laughing because of my two favorite men.

"Before this, I was nothing. I told Beth that. I think a part of me still believes in it... like fuck this shit... you know? This is sick and you just want to vomit and then I remember the world was pretty shitty before too so in the middle of this insane never ending struggle, I found myself being worth. I found love and hope and that scares the hell out of me. Because now more than ever I have a reason to live, to keep going and I have people that cares about me. Crap. I found my true family in the middle of a war between Hell and fucking humanity"

Rick nods as we are going for it. Beth gives Judith to Jessie and walks to me with that angel but so fucking worried face - When?- She just asks and folds her arms, staring at me - We start tomorrow at first light - I sigh and shrug a little - Beth, we need to act fast, we cannot take any more risks- I say softly and worried as her. Screw this. I worry about her. She nods and says nothing but "Ok" and I remember she had that expression when I told her about her ex-boyfriend Zack - It's going to be alright, you know- I say and she looks up as if she was looking for a miracle.

"I want to cry but I won't. Daryl needs me to be strong so I will. He will lead it and I will stay here, dying a little with every minute he's gone. I wonder why we have to give up something to earn something. Haven't we paid enough yet? Unfair as it is, it has to be done and I will remain calm because I trust him"

I look down to find Daryl staring at me - Are you ok? - He asks and I nod - Yes, we will find each other again, Daryl... that's what we do, right? - I think I'm asking for reassurance and he holds me close when people have gone - Right... I will always find you, promise- He kisses my hair and we remain like this for a while - One condition- I say leaning back and he looks at my lips and then at my eyes - Sure... - He half smiles - No goodbyes... - I demand - We don't get to say goodbye cause we'll see each other again soon- And Daryl nods replying with his peculiar "mmhmmmm" and I grin.

"She hates goodbyes as much as me. I remember and I know we will meet again. Now a part of my broken shitty patch up heart beats again but it's no good. We'll be leading a parade of walkers and I offered to be the main act. Old habits die hard, I guess."

I leave Beth with Maggie, Michone and Carol. We need people there just in case... something goes shit... unexpected? Damn! It can't go wrong. I have to do this right. This is our chance to give back and I'm willing to do it. Hell, they ain't gonna bring me down for sure. This is my home as fucked up as I am, I have a home now and things are going right. I keep lighting that faith Beth started in me. Well, I'm fucking trying, you know? A few hours later, the show is on and I'm on my bike. So far, so good. From time to time I turn to see Sasha and Abraham. Beth's face appears to me often. I keep rolling because as soon as we're done, there's a chance to keep living. Suddenly a crash sounds louder than the walkers themselves - What the fuck was that? - I ask Rick from my handy and though I can't stop, my heart does since some walkers are turning to the town - I don't know, it came from Alexandria...- Rick voice cuts through the wire - We're coming back, Daryl keep going! - He yells but I almost contain myself from turning my bike and returning to her. Shit, shit, shit. Something is wrong. I'm so fucking stupid. I smell fire now... as I look up smoke is filling the sky... coming from where Beth is. I freeze because all hell breaks loose... again.

★★★★★
Only two chapters... The battle for survival is on... Keep up with me... The end is upon us...

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