The hope and The brave- Bethyl story

DOES SHE MISS ME?

DARYL POV:

Since we escaped from Terminus, I have been more quiet than ever. It feels like Sophia in some ways but now they took away something I care about. Not that I didn't care for that little girl, I tried as much as I could. Just now... They took her away from me. DAMN. I never felt like I deserve someone, still Beth moved something in me. Cause it feels like they took her from me, you know. I know it's almost crap but this is my very own battle. They took the person I care more about and I will make sure she gets back safe. I ain't no shitting about this. I can't fucking stop my mind from picturing different scenarios. She was... She is so nice and kind. I know she is alive. I know I will find her cause I fucking swear I won´t stop until I see those green eyes again. Rick is talking to Michonne about something. Jeez, I adore that man but when he starts, it's like a train wreck of words! 

I'm glad they never saw me like a boss. I would have been stuck trying to protect the group. I couldn´t protect her. She was there with me and it took a single second to make everything a nightmare. I am used to crap and bad things. I am full of that. But Beth... she doesn't deserve this. She is a good woman. She is not a kid anymore... I remember I used to joke when she dated those kiddos. I saw the kisses and the flirting. Bullshit. She was better than those boys. I never told her that cause she would have tought I was a weirdo. I was shocked when Zack died. I wanted to be the one to tell Beth. I felt I owed her that. Fuck. I just said it and she took it like a boss. I shut down completely and this girl just knew the real shit. She was simple and mature. She understood the fucked up world we were hanging on and she just hugged me. I should have hugged her. I feel stupid now. She was so smart and kind. Even then, she took me by surprise.  

I kneel down because I'm tired as hell. Not my body, it's my fucking brain. Carol is staring at me. I can feel her. -Are you ok?- Carol asks and I just nod. She kneels beside me - I would like to believe I know you better, Pookie - She jokes and she makes me smile. -I'm ok - I lie and she gives me her "no bullshit" look. We laugh. -We will find her, you know?- She says playing with a stick in the ground. I nod. -It wasn't your fault, you know?- Shit. Why does she have to go there? I stand up quickly and scratch some wood from the tree. -Just don't, Carol- I say quietly but she places a hand on my shoulder - I know you're kicking yourself for what happened... Don't lie to me - She says and I snap -You know shit! - I point my finger at her but she doesn't move. Typical Carol. I lean back and punch the freaking tree but I am numb. -She doesn't deserve this, Carol... I should have...- I can't even finish the sentence when she grabs my bleeding hand - Punching trees won't bring her back, you know?- She jokes and I roll my eyes cause I can't be mad at her. - I will get some bandage, ok? - She says and somehow she understands I can't talk about her. Not yet. Right before she leaves, I just fucking ask - Does she miss me?- Carol turns and I quickly ad - I mean, would she, you know?- I can't mend what I just said. Carol nods and smiles - I think she misses you and I think you would be missed cause you're family, Daryl- I look down nodding - Ok - I just say and she walks away. Part of me is glad I asked like a stupid asshole. Maybe Carol is right. Maybe she misses me like I miss her. I'm bleeding but I don't give a shit. I quietly smile. Yes, like a fucking kid. I smile.