Boy Next Door (Scömíche)

Anxiety

There's a moment of silence..
The world is stopping.
I feel like I can hear Scott's heartbeat.
I feel like I can hear everyone's.

"And the winner is.." 

I feel like I barley got a breath out before they announced it, "PENTATONIX !!"

We all huddle around jumping and all hugging.

"Congrats guys! You all will be going to The Sing Off! Please come see us for the details!"

We all say Thank You in a synchronized  tone.

...

We all got back to Kevin and I's dorm and order Chinese for our victory.

"Guys!" Kevin announced,"We are going to the sing off! This is.. Incredible!"

I'm still completely ecstatic. 

This could be it.

This will make or break us. 

We could make a life out of this..

We leave September 19th to head out to Canada.

It's September  14.

God.. This is.. Crazy. 

And here I am, with my 3 best friends and my boyfriend making our dreams come true.

..

Over the 5 days, we procrastinated , argued, made up, and got better vocal range.

But tomorrow we leave. 

I'm snuggled up to Scott's side, not being able to sleep.

I look over to the clock. 

3:59.

We have to be up to catch the plane at 5:30-6 ish.

I feel Scott roll over and wrap his arms around me, "baby, are you okay?"

He kisses my cheek and waits on a response.

"I'm.. I'm just scared. What if were humiliated? What if my voice cracks? What if I choke up because of all of the people? What if we loose?"

He grabs me as I try not to cry.

He hold me until we drift off to sleep.

..

!BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I slam my hand on the alarm clock and roll over to wake up Scott, but he's already up and.. Everyone's already here?!

"Hey Mitchy. Scott told us you had trouble falling asleep last night, so we didn't want to wake you. But we did everything. You just have to do your hair and makeup." Kirstie told me

I thank her and getup to turn my straightener on and they head out to the car to wait.

After I'm done with my hair, I start with my foundation and concealer.

I put it away and into my bag but then it hits me.

My anxiety is spiking out of no where.

I feel puke come up and try to push it down.

"No, god dammit. No not now!" I yell to myself trying to settle down.

But it doesn't work, I run to the toilet and empty yesterday's contents into the toilet.

I begin to cry and shake. 

Whywhywhywhywhy?

I look at the time.