The Prettiest Star - Star Wars - Kylo Ren

XXXI - Epilogue

Ice gripped Kylo Ren in its cold embrace as he fell to the ground. His vision was blurred as his eyes stung in the ice and dirt. Yet he could still see the fluorescent blue glow of the girl's lightsaber cutting through the dark trees and silhouettes. The planet crumbled around him, he could feel it falling apart, reflecting the state of his breaking mind.

His bones and muscles burned, each bearing an individual flame. They ached in his movements and in pain as he hit the floor. He felt something shatter in his mind, a wall breaking. Pain flooded into him like water escaping from a floodgate. His side exploded in agony, every shred of tissue that had been touched by the bowcaster bolt screamed out. His face was on fire, he felt its distortion, he felt like he was dying.

Parts of him were numb from the cold. At the same time, emotions rushed through the broken wall. Guilt and sadness washed over him. He hadn't felt such a roaring hurricane of screaming thought since she betrayed him. He felt his mind straining, the battle between the light and dark side painfully peaking at a terrifying crescendo.

His eyesight was blurred with tears of pain and emotion. In the darkness he was illuminated only by the flickering red blade of his discarded lightsaber and the stars that hung above him like glowworms scattered about the sky. However, he could still see her retract the blade of her lightsaber and turn around, running into the darkness of the forest. Before him the chasm continued to open but he ignored it, his thoughts were only on her moving silhouette.

Familiar emotions and thoughts streamed through his mind like a moving river. As he watched the disappearing girl he felt a feeling of familiarity. He felt like he was watching Aya slide the lightsaber from his grip. The same anger and frustration of betrayal filled his chest. Once again he had let his reckless emotions dictate his actions. He had seen Aya in Rey's eyes. He had known who Rey was before she even met the droid that had changed everything. And yet again, he had let her drive him to ruin.

His head fell back into the snow. The pain was numbing under the weight of his sorrow. Tears spilled out of his eyes, tears that he had been holding back since before he named himself 'Kylo Ren'. He felt himself leaving his body. He felt the universe imploding around him. Without noticing, he closed his eyes.

The screaming thoughts that were crowding his mind began to mould together to make static noise, unreadable. They slowly faded into silence along with the sounds of the world around him. Before long all he could hear was the sound of his deep breathing and racing heartbeat; he was aware of his slipping consciousness. He felt the darkness descend towards him, silencing everything.

Yet, before he could finally fall into the void, he heard an all too familiar voice. It sounded as though it was underwater, it was obscured by the white noise. He couldn't tell if she had said 'Ren' or 'Ben'. He didn't care. All he cared about was how sweet the sound of her voice still was, how gentle and caring it was. It sounded like the comforting hum of a ship that would send him to sleep, or like the sound of the night birds he would listen to at the Jedi temple. It sounded like home.

"Kylo." This time it was much clearer. He had fallen into the void. "Kylo." He heard it again and pulled his eyelids open.

Gentle light poured into them. He immediately sat up. He could hear the sound of the humming ship and distant breathing. Everything was tranquil. Beneath him, he felt the soft, silken mattress. The pain was gone. Opposite him stood a large window that ran along the length of the room, from it was the beautiful view of thousands of distant stars. He had lost count of how many times he had seen this room in his dreams.

He turned his head and saw her sitting next to him. Her eyes were heavy with sleep but still wracked with concern. A halo of black hair surrounded her head in a beautiful mess. Emotion spilled into his mind as he stared into her eyes. He knew this was simply a dream. "You were tossing and turning, is everything okay?" There it was, her voice again.

His head tilted downwards as his face scrunched up in pain. "Rey." He said simply, tears spilled out of his eyes. "Her name was Rey."

The sound of her movement invaded the silence and he felt her wrap her arms around him. Her comforting warmth enveloped him as he continued to stutter out words. "Father."

He pressed his face into her shoulder as he felt her hand rest on the back of his head. Pain and guilt weighted his body. "Ssh," He heard her speak quietly, stopping him from continuing. "It's okay." She whispered next to his ear. "He's with me now."