Chapter 22 - Only a burden

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A little heads up: this chapter gives a broader insight into Emily's condition,therefore I can't split it and it's long, also, because it might contain strong contents,skip if you feel like it might upset you

as usual,please,leave a comment,don't be silent ;)

CHAPTER 22 - A BURDEN,ONLY A BURDEN

FOUR YEARS AGO (SEPTEMBER)

"Are you alright, sweetie? You haven't touched anything." Mrs. Robinson asked her daughter as she watched her only pick at her dinner. 

Emily shrugged, not feeling like replying to her mother, knowing she had her parents' eyes on her, but she didn't look up. Normally her mom's dinners would be really inviting, but tonight she didn't really feel like eating. Scratch that, she hadn't been feeling like eating since a couple of weeks at least. Since a very specific person left for London, that is.

"Are you sure?" Mr. Robinson asked, perusing his daughter from tip to toe. Even he could tell she was being weird. Emily shrugged once more, then lowly asked if she could be excused, her parents glanced at each other, worried, but then nodded, so she slowly stood up and left.

As soon as she was in her room, she leaned back on her door, and sighed. There was this heavy load on her heart, as if she couldn't even breathe sometimes, thoughts kept spinning, and she had no idea how to calm them down nor how to interpret them.

She missed Riley. That much she knew. She missed time with him, she missed his hugs, his smiles, even his eyes. She missed everything about him. She just didn't know in what way. 

She didn't miss him as much as she normally would back to when he was in college, she missed him more, much, much more than that. But those times, when she really couldn't take it anymore, she could always call him, and he'd always answer, but now? Well, now nothing of the sort would happen.

To top it all off, there was high school. Freshman year turned out to be a lot more complicated than she'd ever imagined. With the tryouts for the volleyball team having swallowed the whole first two weeks, she barely had time to breathe, she was under a lot of stress, because she'd tried her best to succeed, the results would be out only on Monday.

High school still remained confusing, though. It was so different from middle school, people were more split in groups and seniors seemed to be so cool, while nobody really paid attention to freshmen like her.

Lucky thing she had Sandra. At least it was slightly easier, because she was never alone. Though sometimes she wished she was, because, one, with Sandra, they often hung out with some other girls that tried out for the volleyball team, and the boy talks they always did burned her ears, two ... well, most of the times she spaced out thinking of him.

Emily heaved a big sigh and headed straight to her bed, tears already forming in her eyes as she plopped on it, laying on her stomach. She barely had time to grab her pillow and hide her face in it before tears started falling, streaming her cheeks for the umpteenth time.

Why did he have to leave? Why did he promise he'd always be there when, obviously, he was already set on leaving? Why did he deceive her like that? Right. Maybe he was just tired. 

He'd babysat her all her life, he was obviously tired. And who wouldn't be? Spending your best years being yanked back from things because you have to take care of a child. Anybody would take the first chance he got to ditch that kid.

She was only a burden to him. A huge burden. She only hoped she'd been able to ask him about those weird emotions she was starting to feel. He said he'd be away only for a year, maybe two, and she believed him, because, no matter what, Riley never lied to her, so she believed him when he said he'd be back in a year, but she'd never wanted to pick up the phone when he called. She didn't even know why, she just didn't want to talk to him, every time she heard his name, her heart clenched and she felt tears prickling behind her eyes. Every single time.

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