Chapter 20 - Can it go worse?

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CHAPTER 20 - CAN IT GO WORSE?

Jason watched his fiancée from the doorframe as she washed dishes. Riley was out, who knew where, given how cranky and solitary the guy had been in the past weeks, due to that little detail about his heart being broken, so Jason thought it would be nice to have a little dinner with his fiancée.

Things seemed better than before, but ... Gwen's trust had been inevitably broken, so even glancing, by poor chance, at that pretty girl in the streets that winked at him could gain him a deathly glare. He was, had been standing on a fine edge, walking on a very fine line between still engaged and single again, as a matter of fact, the effort he'd made at keeping them together was the biggest he'd ever made for any of his other relationships.

Because he cared for Gwen. He loved her. Deeply and truly. And he couldn't imagine his life without her. That's what he thought as he watched her and listened to her hum some song as she washed the dishes.

The dinner was nice, they seemed sort of back to their usual, but Jason knew she was still doubtful. She'd taken him back, but she didn't have the same blind trust in him as she'd always had. And he couldn't blame her. What he did was really vile and wrong. The worst mistake he could ever make.

The trouble was ... while he regretted it, he couldn't deny he'd do it again. With the same girl. The issue wasn't the cheating itself, it wasn't about him not being able to keep it in the pants, it wasn't about him, possibly, as Gwen seemed to fear, going on and doing a repeat of that with some other chick, no.

It was about the way that one girl was still stuck in his mind. It was about the way his mind kept wondering how was she, if she was with someone else already, if she hated him now, if she'd recovered, if ... if she'd ever forgive him for being so mean with her.

Sometimes, when Gwen was asleep beside him, Jason found himself staring at his phone, her contact on screen, the sole need to talk to her being so strong that not even having his own fiancée there deleted it.

His sister didn't even talk to him, he called home, yes, talked to his mother, sometimes his father, but Emily always refused to talk to him.

Only a couple of days after leaving, Jason had called home, and Emily had happened to pick up the phone. She'd been so cold, as she never had. She'd barely responded to his question regarding their parents' whereabouts, then she'd hung up.

He'd called again, asking for explanations, but all he'd gained was one hell of a telling-off from his baby sister, who'd spat as much venom as she never had: 'what's wrong? You ask me what's wrong?! I gotta console my best friend while she cries her heart out, that's what's wrong! And all for your fault! You are the most selfish, most conceited, meanest asshole I've ever known, Jason! You hurt not one, but two of the greatest girls ever seen, and you even dare ask what's wrong?! Till things get better, till Vanessa feels better, you, Jason Lee Robinson, may as well forget you have a sister, because I don't want to hear you again for the time being!'.

Already Emily cussing was new, but her shouting so furiously at him, that had never happened. Emily didn't shout. She just didn't have it in her. She was this posed, calm girl always lost in her own world. And now she yelled at him, with such rage, as he'd never known she was capable of.

What hurt the most was the end of her speech, after she'd cursed him with the worst words, those didn't hurt, the last three ones before she hung up did: 'Right now I hate you, Jason. It'll maybe pass, but right now I really hate you'. That stung. More than a bit.

Now, take that, add that his best friend was practically a ghost, his fiancée guarded him carefully for every tiniest mistake, then the residency eating away his time ... not really an awesome period, was it? The three people he cared for the most had been hurt by his own actions, how could he not feel ashamed?

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