Her Brother's Best Friend - Aching Hearts Series #2

A New Life

CHAPTER 48 - A NEW LIFE

"Come on, honey, please, eat something." Mrs. Evans pleaded, inching the soup to his mouth, but she received no response. She sighed, exhausted. "Honey, you can't keep going like this, please ... just a few spoons, alright?" Nothing.

Placed the soup onto the nightstand, she raked a hand through his thick hair. A mother should not behold her son in such state, she thought, tears swelling in her eyes, her heart heavy, but in truth, worse was Sybil's fate. To the very least, Mrs. Evans mused, bittersweet, her son was still among the living. Even if it looked like he'd completely abandoned life.

It'd been over three weeks since Detectives Murtaugh and Carter had given him the news. Riley had not uttered a single word ever since. PTSD, was the doctor's diagnosis. Grief, more simply put, his mom thought. The loss of the person you love is always a huge trauma, she knew that by experience.

"Honey, I know how you feel", she said, tears starting to stream her slightly wrinkled face. She caressed his cheek, despite the beard. "When your father passed away, I felt like my life could never be the same, I could not move on ... I know you feel the same. I ... I've never understood your ... bond with her, I didn't know until you revealed it to us, but I can assure you that, whatever you feel right now, honey, it's nothing different from how I felt back in the day."

No response. He did not respond to any touch nor word, he, as a matter of fact, lifeless. If he stood, it was because of mere physiological needs, if he ate, it was merely because his mother forced small slices of anything between his parted lips, if he slept, it was only out of exhaustion ... but he woke within an hour nevertheless, living the same nightmare every time.

She was there, at the edge of a high cliff, one mere step away from falling, she stretched her arms, waiting for him, calling him, pleading with him to save her ... but he never could. Every time he got there, she fell. Every single time, the nightmare ended with him watching his Honeybee plummet down while calling his name, disappointed and hurt.

Riley closed his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks for the thousandth time in two months. He could hear the world around him, but he didn't perceive it, he could hear his mom's words, but they did nothing but rub salt in the wound. She meant it well, telling him how she'd been able to cope with her husband's loss, but to Riley's ears, that wasn't a chant for hope, it was a nudge towards oblivion. She meant well, but to him it sounded like an exhortation to forget his Honeybee and move on.

What a foolish idea. It didn't matter what reality said, what people wanted him to do. If Emily did not live anymore, then he would not either. Riley hadn't even wanted to participate to the memorial her family had organized, in lack of a body to bury. The moment the words "she's dead" had left Detective Carter's mouth, Riley had become blind and deaf to the animated world. He hadn't passed the grief stage, doctor said. But his mother knew it wasn't as simple as that.

Her son's state went way beyond grief. He was suffering the most atrocious punishment a heart could endure, he may never go past such stage at all, Mrs. Evans knew that. At the age of 27, her son's life may as well be declared over. Because he didn't seem keen on seeing it differently. If Emily did not live anymore, then he would not either.

***

As one more day started, Jason sucked up his own pain, and got up to face a world without his baby sister. As a routine, his first action was grab his phone, and dial that number. As soon as she picked up the call, he immediately counted: "2 months, 13 days, 6 hours and 8 minutes." The days spent without Emily.

On the other side, only a muffled sob. "Give me a reason to get up", Vanessa drawled amongst tears.

Jason swallowed the lump in his throat, and tried to be as secure as he could when, for the 65th time – one for each morning such routine played out –, he responded: "Only if you keep on living, I will."