Temporary Secretary

Forty

I didn't go anywhere. I didn't make it but beyond the gate. I sat there on that summer night, admiring the stars in the sky, holding Winston close to me. I could still hear Paul sobbing on the porch, having not moved since the morning.

"What should I do, my sweet Winston?" I asked, looking down at my baby, who only smiled up at me, his hazel eyes shining just like his father's.

I listened, hearing Paul sniffling. I knew his head was in his hands and Stella and James were having to fend for themselves. I should be beyond that gate, back where I know I belong.

The sad part is, Paul didn't know I was right here, within his reach.

"I'm sorry, Paul..." I whispered into the night air.

"Amethyst?" I heard his voice behind me, thinking I was just hearing things.

"Amethyst?!" He said again, this time more frantically.

Hearing his voice made me break down and that was when the gate swung open.

"What are you doing, love?"

I just shook my head.

"I don't know, Paul. This is all too much." 

I wouldn't dare look at him, not after what I did.

"Please come back home, darling. I need you where you belong."

"I know this is where I belong, Paul."

"Then come back home, Amethyst...Please."

Paul knelt down to the ground, trying to get me to look at him.

"You shouldn't let me come back after all I've done today."

"You know how love works, darling? Admiration and acceptance." He said, raising my chin to look at me.

My eyes swollen and red from crying and my hair a mess, yet I only saw love in his eyes.

"Why do you love me so much, Paul? I don't understand it."

"You can't help who you truly fall in love with, Amethyst. You're that person for me, okay?"

"Okay..." 

Paul stood up, offering out his hand to help me up. Instead, I handed him his son who had been in my arms all day. Paul took Winston, cradling him like a precious gem. 

I stood up on my own and rolled my suitcase behind me, ashamed of what I had done. What were we going to tell Stella and James?

"Did you tell them?" I asked Paul nervously.

"They asked, but I just said that some distant relative had died...I wasn't very specific."

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing." Paul said sternly.

"I-...Okay."

Stella and James were standing at the door when I walked in, curious looks written on their faces.

"Where have you been, Amethyst? We've missed you all day!" Stella said.

"I-I...I was..."

"She was supposed to go on a surprise trip, but it got cancelled and that's why she's been crying. It's getting late, you two should get to bed."

"Okay, daddy. Goodnight!" Stella said, beginning to ascend the stairs.

"Nighty, Daddy!" James said, hugging Paul's legs and mine as well.

I trudged up the stairs and began unpacking my suitcase, putting the clothes and things back where they were this morning.

"I take it you're staying?" Paul said, leaning on the door frame with Winston in his arms.

"Yeah..." I smiled sheepishly at him.

"I'm glad...I don't think I could make it without you."

I just smiled and kept putting away my things. Once I was done, I sat on the bed, admiring Winston who was now in his crib where Paul had put him. Paul sat down beside me, his hand placed gently on my leg.

"We're a real mess, aren't we?" He joked. "Just look at us, crying like someone's died when we were close and didn't even know it. Why didn't you leave?"

"I couldn't do it. I thought I could, and that it was what I wanted, but I realized...I belong here."

"You know, you're so much more than a temporary secretary, darling."

I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Are we still going to get married?"

"Well, considering your dream dress is being made right now, I would hope so. The ring on your finger tells me that you are."

"You've got to be kidding?"

"No, seriously. I sent Stella's sketch to a designer a few weeks back..."

"How did you get it from her?"

"I did some digging." Paul said sneakily.

Just then, Zora, our siberian husky, came bounding in. 

"You thought we forget about you, didn't you?" Paul asked the now large dog sitting on our bed who barked in response.

"How could I ever leave this?" I asked, petting Zora and laying back on the bed, Paul following suit.

"I never want you too."

"I was talking about the dog." I joked, effectively making Paul smile.

"I love your smile..." I said to him, thinking out loud.

"I love you..." Paul said, pulling me up to lay on his chest as Zora moved to the end of the bed.

As Paul ran his fingers through my hair and we talked the night away, just like we used to, I felt at home. Who was I kidding? Paul was my home.

"I love you, Paul..." I said quietly.

"I love you too, Amethyst. Remember, darling, this isn't temporary. This is forever."

The End.