Voices

c h a p t e r 8 : a g a i n

S a m

"And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me." - Is There Somewhere, Halsey

I walk in and I see you, standing in the corner, eyes opened in shock.

I want to say hello.

I want to say that I'm happy to see you again.

But I can't get those words out of my mouth.

I can't say hello.

I can't say that I'm happy to see you again.

I can't drag you into my world.

Not this time.

Not again.

I'm sorry.

*

With my backpack slung across one shoulder, I push open the shop door, the bells above the door jingling as I enter. It's just another typical day at work or, in other words, another typical summer's day.

It's just another day that will pass with you wallowing in your sorrows and despair.

"Mr Jones, I'm here," I call out the moment I step into his shop.

I suddenly find myself locking eyes with a very familiar girl. She is wearing her hair down now, but her stormy blue eyes are still there, all so familiar. She's standing beside a tall, medium built guy. Who is that? Her boyfriend?

How many times must you be reminded of the mistakes you made?

"It's you," I say as calmly as I can but, in reality, I can feel my hands shaking.

She looks at me like I am just some crazy person who has mistaken her for someone else but, at the same time, I spot the recognition in her eyes.

She knows who I am.

Why do I feel so relieved?

Stop yourself from feeling, Sam.

Haven't you forgotten the last time you got close to a girl?

I gulp, taking a step forward. I can feel her eyes on me and I stand a little straighter, trying to add a little more confidence in every step I take. I manage to walk to the back of the shop without caving in. I open the door to the room, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"Sam! Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" Mr Jones asks, concerned, looking up from the newspaper he is reading. "You're so pale. Are you unwell?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm perfectly fine," I mutter, avoiding eye contact with my boss.

I place my bag on the chair in the left corner of the room as Mr Jones says," I'd like you to clean the shelf with all the old jewellery boxes and holders. A customer just called in yesterday saying that she wants to drop in and have a look at those."

I nod. "Not a problem."

I turn to face the door and take a deep breath of air before going into the shop once again.

Anyway, why isn't Mr Jones out there? It's kind of odd that he isn't at the register when there are customers in the shop. Does he know them?

They're still there, in the shop, but they are not together anymore. The boy is browsing the books and the girl is admiring the jewellery.

She's there. She's where I need to be. How can I clean the shelf if she is there?

I can feel my knees trembling and my heart beating ferociously in my chest. Why do I feel so nervous around her? I barely even know her. We've only met once before. Yet, why do I feel like I've known her my whole life?