Take Me Beyond Your Heart (sequel) boyxboy

*14*

*Nolan's POV*

These days, I was much more comfortable being by myself, which was highly unlike me. Today was Friday, and I'd been trying to avoid my own friends.

The day my brother had let Asher technically babysit made me feel... well, like a baby. I knew the conditions Justin had were for Asher to keep me safe and busy to avoid any attacks, so that was why I did my best to make sure we kept
each other busy.

My point was, I couldn't help but feel like a huge load on everyone's shoulders. Here I was dragging Asher into this complicated life of mine and making him another person that carried my problems. I barely even knew him; he didn't need that.

I was at my locker that morning, just staring into it as I thought to myself.

"Are you okay?" I heard.

"I'm fine!" I snapped. Realizing myself, I turned around to quickly apologize when I saw Shane there. My eyes widened. "I'm so sorry."

"Bad day?" he raised an eyebrow and I just stared at him. Lord knows I still had so much feelings for him that I could only dream he'd return.

"No, not a bad day. Just... life." I shrugged helplessly.

"Hey. I haven't seen you like this, what's up?" His look of concern ate away at me.

"Nothing - please, don't look at me like that, Shane. I'm fine, really."

"I'm... sorry? I mean, you've been M.I.A for a couple days. I just wanna know what's going on. Is this about... our break-up?"

I sighed. "No, Shane. Look, nothing is your fault or Jace's fault, so don't think like that. You two belong together. Stop feeling guilty. What goes on with me has nothing to do with you and that's why you shouldn't worry about me."

"How can you tell me not to worry about you? You're my friend who passed out in my arms a few days ago and was rushed to the hospital because you OD'd. Now you want me to pretend I don't care about you?"

I bit my lip, surprised that he raised his voice at me. He never did. It kind of scared me, but I realized that what was really scaring me was the truth in his words.

"Just to let you know, I've been there. I know that was no accident, Nolan. You're abusing your meds and it can kill you."

"I'm not... I'm not suicidal."

"You're not a liar, I know that. But you're honestly telling me," he stepped closer and I sucked in a breath. "You took three sleeping pills along with your Xanax
just because you were frustrated that you couldn't get any sleep... by accident? And if you didn't know it before, Xanax decreases the amount of sleep you get. It's also an effective drug, so you shouldn't be having so many panic attacks, but since you are..." he shrugged, "...you haven't been taking it."

I was silent for a long time, and we just looked at each other. My eyes told him to just leave, while his eyes told me to fess up.

"So you're point is... you think I overdosed because I'm suicidal?" I finally broke the silence.

"That, and you're addicted."

"No, I'm not!" I shot.

"Then why the hell are you irritable? That's a withdrawal symptom, you know. Like I said, I've been there."

"I'm not addicted to drugs or anything for that matter, Shane, I swear!"

"Nolan -"

"Stop it!" I yelled. "I get it, you were broken and alone before, but that does not mean you understand everyone else! The only people you can understand are those who were just as broken and lonely!" I walked away from him.