Project Venom #Watty's2016

Pod Cast

The longest I had ever sat in traffic before was about two hours all at once. It was when Hurricane Rita came through Texas years ago. My family and I evacuated to Austin in a crappy, cramped Jeep Grand Cherokee and to make it worse, me and my two brothers were crammed side by side while my baby sister was in a car seat which was making the space issue that much worse. I can't help but remember all the boats, RV's, trailers and old cars people were trying to leave with. I swear it was like "hurricane be coming, everything be insured, take it anyway! Fuck it!" Okay, so you had the extra shit on the road, which would have been payed for if it got wasted or floated out to sea, never to be seen again, on top of the fact that Texans are some of the WORST drivers you have ever seen in your lives. People with Mustangs drive like they own the Road, Camaro drivers are just as bad, then you got the tuners who make 147 horsepower at the rear wheels, aka my Dad, who feel the need to blow the doors of the Camaros and the mustangs in the corners. Now, you add the zombies. All those people in Ford F-150's and Chevy Silverados that will jump in front of you at 75MPH and then go 20 miles an hour, then turn right around and do 90 through a school zone. Now throw all of this into a large bowl, whisk liberally and then sprinkle in broken traffic lights, the occasional stupid cop and bake at 350 for 20 minutes and your result is a typical Monday on the Beltway 88 in Houston. Another problem I was facing now that we didn't have in the jeep was a manual transmission. Yes, you heard that right, the Manual in the Civic is a problem. Thing was, Automatics aren't trying to spin when you sit in traffic, the computer disconnects the torque converter from the engine, but in a Manual, the tranny will spin unless your foot is on the clutch. I had read too many horror stories about what happens when manual transmissions decide they want to fail sitting in traffic, and since I wasn't in the mood to lose my life and kill my girlfriend, you could guess where my foot was. Even though the transmission wasn't going to overheat because the cooler was on and it wasn't spinning, the engine and I were playing a much different game. The Turbo and the Supercharger were already feeding the engine hot air, even with the intercooler. Toss in the small fact that the ambient air temperature was about, oh 110 degrees and I was playing a dangerous game with my engine. I can already feel the money loosening from my wallet now for. The radiator be like, "hehe fuck you, I'm gonna blow out and cost a few hundred dollars."

"Were gonna overheat", I said looking at the temperature gauge, "they make transmission coolers, why can't they make engine coolers?"

"There called radiators", Nina smirked.

I sighed, "shut up, you know what I mean."

Nina made what I could only describe as a troll face, the one where the guy is staring off to the left and smiling that creepy smile.

"Trolled", she smiled.

I shook my head, "you know it's a long walk back to 29."

"I'll just fly", Nina said.

"No you won't", I said, "not in this traffic. Even if you did Morningstar would get so pissed that...well try not to think about that."

"Good point", she smiled, "but you still can't kick me out of the car. I won't go, we'll be sitting a while if you do."

I just stared at her, "how long?"

She shrugged, "until you decide your hungry, which knowing you won't be long."

I felt my cheeks get hot.

"Trolled!", Nina laughed again.

"Your paying for your own lunch!", I said.

"That brakes date rules!", Nina said, "the guy is supposed to pay!"

I groaned and bashed my head on the steering wheel, of all the females on this planet, why did the one I spent 2 months knocking myself unconscious to get to have to be the biggest troll ever!?