63

3.3K 145 33
                                    

the signs as Lorelai Gilmore quotes (THIS SHOW IS MY LIFE AND THESE QUOTES ARE WEIRD)


Aries:

Emily: A bad storm is heading your way. It's already hitting us here.

Lorelai: Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark, you get the animals.

Taurus:

Emily: Do you know that every night at dinner the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun. They would quiz each other about current events, historical events and intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedys so come on someone say something.

Lorelai: Did you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?

Gemini:

Rory: If the house was burning down, what would you save first, the cake or me?
Lorelai: Not fair! The cake doesn't have legs!

Cancer:

Lorelai: "Why should we date?"

Max: "Because we're attracted to each other."

Lorelai: "I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie."

Leo:

Rory: One of them, a married man, had a long conversation with — how shall I put this delicately? — a woman of less-than-reputable nature.

Lorelai: Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?

Rory: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.

Virgo:

Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's going to be completely moronic.

Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.

Libra:

Rory: You just want to hold a grudge.

Lorelai: Yes. Burns more calories.

Rory: That's not true.

Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.

Scorpio:

Rory: You're happy.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Rory: ... Did you do something slutty?

Lorelai: I'm not that happy.

Sagittarius:

Rory: You should walk down the aisle to Frank Sinatra, with a huge bouquet of something that smells really good.

Lorelai: Pot roast!

Capricorn:

Lorelai: In the movie, only boy hobbits travel to Mount Doom, but that's only because the girls went to do something even more dangerous.

Girl: What?

Lorelai: Have you ever heard of a Brazilian bikini wax?

Aquarius:

Richard: I like that boy.

Lorelai: Prove it. Drop your pants!

Pisces:

Emily: You're crude and unprofessional.

Lorelai: I'd like that on my tombstone please.

zodiac signs ✓ 2015Where stories live. Discover now