Pulse

Note to self: watch where I'm walking

        "You're in the hospital." I repeat for the hundredth time tonight I stare at my 86 year old patient, hoping that it will sink in that she is in the hospital. It hasn't sunk in the previous times I told her, but I can still hope. She looks at me with a confused look and smiles. "Oh. Okay honey." I nod and smile back at her, silently pleading that she goes to sleep, before leaving the room. I say a silent prayer that she goes to sleep but I don't get far. I am about 5 steps away from her room when I hear her again.

"Max. Max. Come here Max."  

It only takes a moment before the sounding of the bed alarm blares through my ears. I stop in my tracks immediately and sigh, turning around and preparing myself to spend another hour explaining to Mrs. Anderson that she is in the hospital and no, her cat is not here. I wish I could say I am surprised when I find Mrs Anderson looking under the hospital bed, pleading for her nonexistent cat to come out from hiding. Well, at least she is pleasantly confused.

    It is 5:00 am. Two hours left of my shift, but it feels never ending. Every part of my body is aching, including my brain. My feet are going numb and they feel like they are about to fall off. After three heroin overdoses and an elderly man who took too much viagra that lead to an erection for six hours, it has been a long night. Sticking a long needle in a 73 year old's privates was not exactly on my list of fun things I wanted to do tonight. But that's my job. I have been an ER nurse for two years now, seeing a wide variety of things. I love every second of it. Most days. Some days are more exhausting than others, but I can honestly say I love what I do. I help people which is all I've ever wanted to do in life.

   One of the things I like best about working in the ER is you never know what to expect. I've had my fair share of everything. After doing my rotations and experiencing different types of nursing, the ER was my favorite.  From trauma victims, to penile problems, to cardiac problems, I've seen it all. I love how the night can change so quickly and drastically. I will state this though, one of my biggest pet peeves with patients is the lying. I'm not stupid so don't bother lying to me, i would rather you tell me the truth and save us both the time and embarrassment. Do not tell me you just "woke up" with a penile fracture, you were obviously doing something. Yes you can fracture your penis. Yes I have seen it. Do not tell me you do not take any illicit drugs when your tox screen is positive, I would rather you be honest so I can treat you more appropriately. Despite the craziness, I wouldn't want to do anything else. I love my job.

     After reporting off and clocking out, I am finally walking to my car, my Jeep Wrangler. This car is my baby. I worked my ass off to buy it and am proud I finally got my dream car. I sit down and momentarily close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of sitting down and getting off of my feet. I sigh in relief as for the first time in 12 hrs my weight is off of my feet. I turn my car on  and am greeted by familiar music, relaxing me even further. Papa Roach fills my car and floods through my ears. My eyes remain closed momentarily longer as I appreciate the guitar and vocals.

I work in the busiest hospital in Boston. It is stressful, but it is also rewarding. One of the nice things (there's not too many) of working third shift is there is not as much traffic on the way home. I don't think I could handle sitting an hour in traffic on my way home from night shift.

Relief floods through me as I pull into my driveway. I recently bought a house in nearby Cambridge city. The house is still newer to me, and every time I pull into my driveway I sit and take a moment to appreciate what I have achieved. It is an older two story brick home that I had found online. It has a homey feel, which is exactly what I wanted. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was for me. The house has character. It is perfect, perfect for me. The white windows have shutters attached with worn white paint. There are flowers leading up to the front porch which holds a wooden porch swing that I love to sit on. It is one of my favorite places in the whole house to sit and think. This is home.