Second Chances(A Mass Effect Fan fiction)

Can't Loose You Again

As Kaidan made his way back to the Citadel, his fight with Shelby ran over and over in his mind. Shelby was his best friend, and he still loves her even now, yet he just threw her to the wolves, so to speak. He kept wondering if he was too harsh, or if she really had changed in those two years that they were apart. She seemed different to him, like everything was off. But he also wondered if it was just him being sore from her leaving him behind for so long, even if it wasn't her fault.

Was he just judging her? Or did he really mean it all somewhere deep inside, but refused to admit it even to himself? Part of Kaidan still wondered if Shelby had a chip implanted in her brain, or if she was a clone of some kind. He just couldn't find any other reason that Shelby would be working for Cerberus.

Shelby had taught Kaidan to trust his instincts while he served with her, so he buried all of his theories, doubts, and possible jealousy that she hadn't contacted him sooner, and he sat down to record a message for his best friend that he fell in love with all those years ago.

Shel,
I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. it took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and, everything pulled hard to port...... You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus.... I guess I really don't know who either of us are anymore.

Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant EVERYTHING to me....maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years, and I can't just put that to the side.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die -- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little....maybe....I don't know. Just take care, Shel.
-Kaidan

Kaidan checked the message over twice before sending it to Shelby. He wasn't expecting a reply, but he certainty hoped for one. He wanted to know if she was still the woman he used to know her as. She was serious, but only when she needed to be. The rest of the time, Shelby was the definition of a sweet, outgoing person, and most times, she was nice to a fault. But Kaidan had always liked that about her. In fact, it was one of the things that seemingly drew him towards her when he first started getting to know her.
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By the time Kaidan had some free time after reporting back to Anderson, three days had passed, and when he saw that Shelby had replied to his message, he was secretly extatic. Kaidan opened her message as he sat on a bench in the presidium to read what Shelby had said.
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Kaidan knew now that Shelby was in fact still the woman he used to know, at least mostly. But she had definitely changed. She may have kept her personality, but she used to dislike Cerberus just as much as Kaidan did. He couldn't help but wonder what Cerberus had done to her or told her that would make her work for them.
Did Cerberus implant her with some sort of control chip? If so, could he even trust Shelby right now? In Kaidan's mind, there was only one way to find out. He brought up his omnitool and started typing away.

Shel,
It's been over two years since we actually did anything together, but I know that you're still mostly the Shelby I knew. I know what I said on Horizon, but I still trust YOU. I just don't trust Cerberus. I'm not going to say too much over a connection that could be tracked, but I have a question for you. If there was a way to meet up every now and then until you come home, would you do it? I know I'd really like to be around you again, but I just can't be so close to Cerberus as I'd be if I worked with you. Please, be careful out there Shel.
-Kaidan