2. Saving Us [Yoongi]

Gone

Depressing warning, don't read if you're sensitive to this matter. 

***

It takes one minute to destroy someone's life. It also takes one to make someone completely happy. Sometimes death makes more sense then life. It seems much more peaceful and happy. You're wrong. You're walking, endlessly. You're searching for something that you'll never find. I guess it can be peaceful. It's quiet and you don't have to worry about pain.  

All I wanted was to disappear and to never be found, but now that I'm gone; all I want is Yoongi to come hug me. 

I don't remember much about what happened before. I just remember being with Yoongi. Now I was walking around aimlessly in pitch black darkness. I don't know what I want anymore. I just know that the depression is eating at me, continuously. One day, there won't be any of me left. 

I continued walking around until I saw a light, and headed towards it. I saw Yoongi's face appear in the light, making me feel slightly at ease. That's when I realized, we have to create our own light to hide away our darkness. 

***

I frowned as the light disappeared and I was sitting in my old Biology class room. I looked around in confusion. I saw Yoongi in the seat next to mine. He snapped his fingers in my face. 

"Hello? You alive in there?" He said with a snobby tone. I frowned lightly and looked at his face. 

"I'm sorry..what did you want?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He's the old Yoongi, what's going on? 

"I asked for a pencil, for such a smart girl you're such an air head" He retorted. 

Pencil? 

I looked down at my hand, I was holding a pencil. I held it out to him. There was another bright light when our fingers brushed together. I opened my eyes and the light disappeared. Yoongi was hovering above me holding my wrists down to the bed. I looked up at him. 

Yoongi cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow lightly. Yoongi leaned down closer to my face. 

"And if I don't?" He whispered huskily. His breath grazed over my face, smelling of strawberry and mint. I bit the inside of my cheek. 

Yoongi faded away. I frowned and got up. Every single moment I had with him started flashing by. Quicker than before. I tried desperately to hold onto those memories, to try and keep them with me for as long as I could. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the memories began to fade away. The only memory I have left, was his smile. The smile he would always give me. Then it went dark again. 

I began to wander around again. Hoping I would see something that would bring back the happy memories me and Yoongi shared together. 

It's strange. People dear death more than pain. Except pain is harder to deal with rather than dying and being able to hide. 

It's so cold now, but the cold was coming from within. It was coming from my heart and moving its way around my body. I hugged myself and shivered, my teeth began to chatter loudly. I eventually got so cold that I just sat on the floor and didn't move. I hugged my knees close to my chest as I began to get colder and emptier. 

I slowly began to realize what was happening. I am dying. I closed my eyes tightly and hid inside my knees. Everyone dies, there's no point in fighting it. People say that people die from suicide, they die from sadness. People push them to the point where their only option is death, then people get upset when they find out. When you're dying or already dead, suddenly everyone cares about you. 

I held myself tighter as the depressing memories started to roll in. I began to cry at the thought of not seeing Yoongi anymore. My breathing started to slow and get heavier. I closed my eyes tightly. Every breath was beginning to hurt my lungs and make my chest hurt. Every breath was now becoming a battle. 

I laid down onto the cold floor and hugged my knees close to my chest. My body shivered as I closed my eyes even tighter. I sighed and began to welcome death. 

The darkness began to consume my mind. The sound of my heart beat began to fill my ears, it was slow  and loud. It began to skip beats every so often. I love you Yoongi, I'm so sorry. 

I laid my head back and let death begin to consume me. 

It wasn't as painful as I thought, it felt like being covered in bubbles and relaxing. 

It was nice.