2. Saving Us [Yoongi]

Blank

Yoongi POV-

Everything seemed so dull, and lifeless. Every face I looked at seemed upset or sad, no matter how wide of a grin they had on their face. Even the changing season didn't seem happy. The leaves dying as they fell from the tree, landing on the green grass. Birds chirping sad songs. 

Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing seemed to have a meaning like before, even thinking about life gave me a blank mind. The memories played back in my head, her smile the strongest memory I had. Along with the ones of her crying, because of me. I would've saved her so much pain if I had just left her be. 

It's hard to forget someone when they gave you so much to remember. 

I'm not sure how to describe my feelings. I feel like I'm losing control over myself. My mind feels like a sea, never ending, and filled with bad things. I just feel so empty. Sometimes, I get lost in my own mind. It's amazing how many things a single smile can hide. They never suspect anything, cause you're smiling; but you're really dying. 

People say that if something truly loves you It'll come back to you, that's not the case for me. Nothing I love stays, It all just leaves. Tired. Yeah, that's what I am, I'm just tired. Tired of everything. 

Blank, everything has felt blank since that day. My mood, my face, life. I miss the old, happy me. I miss being able to smile at random things. Lately, I've just felt blank, I don't even know what I feel. I would give up everything just to see her one last time. To see her smile at me like she used to, but I can't undo what's already done.

I want to feel numb. The only thing for that is to go to sleep, or do something else. I promised myself I would stay strong for her. I'm starting to break that promise. How can you stay strong when you don't have a reason anymore?

You can't...