What have I become...?

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Everytime I look at my cuts....I stare at them for a while and think....how did I become this? What happened to me to do this? Why did this start happening to me? What have I become?

I don't even know who I am anymore...before this, I was never known to be the kind of person that would purposely harm herself...but look at me now....now, I don't even realize I'm doing it....

What has happened to me? I'm keeping in even more lies and secrets than I was before...even more stress, even more hurt, even more.....misunderstanding...I'm misunderstood to many people, now I'm misunderstood to myself....

Everytime I trace my cuts with my finger and feel the scabs, I think....why is it so bad this year, that I'd do this?

I'm suicidal...all of this started this year...why does it hurt so much this year? Why...?...

I've heard people say to not kill yourself and to stop cutting and encourage me id others to stay alive, when they're not listening to their own advice....so if they're not listening to their own advice, then why should we listen at all?

I'm done listening...I make my own choices, no one can control me, so don't even try.

What have I become...?...

~ </3mily... :'(

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