I owe you

The second dance

Steve's POV

I sat inside the training hall. I had been sitting on the floor against the wall for a few hours. Just dealing with my thoughts, as they were many. After the first hour, the lights went off and I was left in the dark. My heart suddenly skipped a bit as the doors opened and I looked up. Natasha went inside the room with firm steps. She hadn't noticed me yet. I was surprised to see her change of hairstyle. She had dyed it more dark red and had a new haircut. Of course, it looked stunning. I watched her go to the boxing area as she put up her hair in a ponytail. I was surprised by that as well, she never wore her hair like that. It suited her though. She looked beautiful in an ordinary way. She then put on some boxing gloves and started punching a bag so hard I was afraid she'd break her hand. This went on for a while and she even started kicking the bag. I sat there, with wide eyes, watching her anger towards the bag become even bigger. After about ten minutes of punches, she suddenly leaned her forehead on the bag. The room was still a little dark so I couldn't see her eyes. She started hitting the bag again but only once before she let out a little sob. She hit it again and another small sad sound came out of her mouth. She hit the boxing bag quickly seven times before she fell down to the ground with her head in her hands. I stopped breathing at the sight and felt a pain in my chest. It dug deep down as a thousand knifes. She pressed her knees to her chest and I could hear her breathing heavily. I slowly stood up and began walking to her. She heard me before I even stood up and she dried away the tears from her face before I even had begun walking.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you where in here.." She said with a small voice. I could tell she tried to make it stronger but failed.
"You don't have to talk." I said and she nodded a little before I sat down beside her. I wrapped my arms around her and she dug into my embrace.
"I just.. I can't get the baby out of my head. It feels.." She began before she took a pause. Her voice would break into a cry other wise. "It feels like I killed it." She said and the voice echoed in the room. "Like I killed my own child. Just like I did to all those children.. The hospital fire.. It's all coming back."
I took her hand and she squeezed it hard. "I'm the reason for so many deaths. And it makes sense.." She said.
"What does?" I asked softly but nervous about the response.
"That I didn't deserve to have this child." She said with a deep breath. She dried away another tear with her hand before she looked at me. Her eyes met mine and my heart twisted a little at the amount of sadness in hers. "But you did." She said as another small sob got out of her mouth even though she tried to burry it deep down her throat. "Maybe I'm nothing more than what I was before. Than what they made me. Than what I made me." She said as she stared straight forward. Her eyes was red and tired. All the happiness and joy was long gone from her face. It was like a black and white movie that took place as a expression on her face.
"Natasha, don't do that." I said as I wrapped my arms around her a little harder. "You know who you are. None of this is your fault. And if.." I began but felt my voice shaking a little. "And if this baby wasn't born, it was for a reason." I said and she looked at me.
"What possible reason would be a reason big enough for our child to not be born?" She said. Her voice was a little cold and hard, a response on her sadness. I felt my breathing become uneven at the mention of 'our child'.
"I know it doesn't make sense because I can not believe how something that beautiful could be taken from us. But I know it's going to be okey." I said and Natasha breathed out a bit. She got a little calmer by my words but I was just as tense.
"Yeah." She said a little quiet. We sat like that for a while. Thinking and wondering with my arms still around her.
"I like your hair." I said after a while and she looked at me with a small smirk.
"You really know when to choose your moments don't you?" She said and I smiled a little.
"I'm not good at pep talks.." She said and I looked at her. "But I'm here you know.." She said and I smiled. I put my hand on her cheek to turn her head to face me. I looked into her eyes a few second before I closed mine and suddenly leaned in to kiss her. I didn't touch her lips but waited for her to close in which she did, seconds later. I became a little warmer and my thought disappeared.