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Abigail
13 March 2016

I'd always thought there couldn't be any encounter more uncomfortable than when my parents met my first girlfriend in high school.

And for the longest time there wasn't.

But today I know that there is nothing more uncomfortable than having your 40 year old states attorney girlfriend sit down at dinner with your, soon-to-be president of the United States, father; mother and campaign manager to talk about the 'state' of your relationship.

I couldn't believe it when my mother told me to invite Elizabeth over so we could discuss how we were going to keep our relationship 'private but functional'.

The fact that my parents knew that I was sleeping with her came as a shock only to me and their obnoxious campaign manager Andy.

Now that the election was drawing near and it was clear that my father could very well become the front runner for the presidency - the campaign was tying up its loose ends.

And my relationship with Liz was one of those loose ends - hence I found myself at the world's most awkard dinner sitting.

Soup spoons clattering and clanging against the china were providing the only conversation in the room.We had sufficiently run out of small talk.

I suppose there really was no pleasant way to approach the matter. My parent's thinly veiled anger permeated the dinning room table like a Damocles sword and did nothing to ease the already thick tension in the room.

Liz sat across from me diligently eating her soup. Occasionally she'd look up and run her eyes over everybody's face. When they landed on me, I'd raise my eyebrows at her coaxing her to say something. To which she would frown, bend her head down and continue finishing her soup.

Andy was guzzling down his soup in a most unseemly manner. I swear the man was raised by monkeys. His round cheeks made him seem more boylike than adult. Wisps of his black hair curl upwards where it still grew. What an obnoxious man - with a smile that never reached his eyes. When he smiled it was like someone was squishing his lower chin and forehead together.

For all my contempt for him, I wanted to thank him for finally breaking the tense silence.

"Right!" He announced clapping his hands. "Shall we get the proverbial elephant out of the room then!?"

Everybody stopped eating. I looked at Liz; Liz looked at me and then flashed over to dad; dad bit his molars and cleared his throat but carried on eating and finally mom - with all her southern charm - stood to clear the unfinished bowls saying: "Don't be silly dear, we don't wanna spoil a perfectly good meal."

"Oh come now Eleanor. No matter how much lipstick you throw at that boar, at the end od it all its still a pig. So why not yank the tooth out and get it over and done with." Andy said.

"He's right." I interjected seeing as nobody else was going to say anything. "I'll say something." I turned to stare at my father and mother.

"I'm not gonna stop sleeping with Liz."

I saw the muscles on my dad's cheeks grow even more muscles. My mother sat back down and took a deep breath.

"No one is asking you to do that sweety. We just want you to exercise some...caution." The last word she struggled with as if she was refraining from using more colourful adjectives in her head.

"We've been nothing but cautious Elle." My lover calmly pointed out. "The only people who would find out are those that have done extreme investigating."

My father joined the conversation for the first time with his arms folded: "Which is precisely what they'll do Liz. You know that."

"I could forgive you for being an immoral slut but I never thought you were stupid Liz."

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