It's Alright (matt healy)

I'm Starting To Cheat On My Girlfriend Again...

Lissa's P.O.V:

I drag my self to music, and see Matty stood outside smiling at his phone with one hand drowning in his curly brown locks. He doesn't even realise i'm there. I clear my throat to try and get him out of this trance. He jumps out of his skin. It's as though he's seen a ghost when he realises that it's me.

"Shall we uh.." He mumbles, he's acting weird with me. Oh god! What have I done now.

He opens the door holding it open for me as I trail in behind him and take a seat on his sofa with him. He keeps as much distance as possible from me, I feel almost as though I've got some contagious disease that only I seem to not know I have.

Jack starts the lesson by showing us his current favourite song which is you could be mine by guns n roses. Which is an absolute jam! He then sends us to get practising with our  projects.

I nudge Matty gently with my shoulder.
"Yeah?" He snaps.
"I uh.." I pause "I drew you earlier in class, cause I wanted to practice my portraits, I hope that's okay."
"Yeah that's fine, can I see?" He whispers.
I slide the portrait out of my sketchbook trying not to make too much noise as I rip it from the hooks so as not to startle him. I place it onto his lap and his deep warm chocolate eyes widen, as he takes in every detail of the A4 page. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing but a few choking noises leave his throat.

I can see that he's struggling. Tears are forming in his eyes.
He pushes the portrait from his lap and stands up.
Grabbing his jacket he swings the door open and storms out.

I don't know what it is I've done wrong. I decide to stay until the end of the lesson and meet Emily and Matty at the gates.

I spend the hour learning the city on my bass and singing the vocals along with it.

The bell rings and I stand up packing away my things and the bass. I throw my backpack onto my shoulders and head out the door and to the gates. As soon as I reach the front door heading out onto the yard, there's Matty, walking towards me from my left with a concerned look on his face.

"Hey," he says running his hands through his hair as he reaches the distance that his low mumbles become audible "listen I uh.." He plays with his hands as we begin to walk closer to the gates, he seems to be doing everything with a manic sense of insecurity, including speaking of which he normally seems so natural and fluent.
"What's wrong, you've been acting strangely since we got here." I can't help but stare at him as he bites his lips.

"I...." He pauses "I've got a.."

"MATTY!" an excited unfamiliar voice screams.
An unknown blonde female leaps into Matty's arms wrapping her slender tanned arms around his skinny incredibly pale torso. I can feel my eyes widening and my throat getting dry.

She peels herself off of him and stands next to him, she towers over me, she's tall and graceful like a gazelle, with gorgeous eyes, and goddess like features. She is the definition of perfect.

Emily sees us all a few feet from the gates and wanders over to me.
"Who's that?" Emily mouths to me as she is a few paces away, I can do nothing but shake my head.

"Hi," the blonde speaks with a beautiful softness to her voice "i'm gemma, I've not met you before!" She exclaims before extending a delicate small hand for me to shake.

"I'm Lissa," I finally manage to choke up, I grasp Emily's hand and begin to walk towards the gate.

"Where are you going?" Gemma enquires just as we were about to step away from them and to freedom.

"To the park for dinner." I mumble almost inaudibly, in the vainest of hope that she may not hear and just leave the subject.

"Oh hun we'd love to join you!" Gemma shrieks grabbing Matty's hand and tearing him from the spot.

As soon as I cross the college's threshold. I rip my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and light the end with my clipper as red as the blood I'd love to spill right now.

We reach the spot where we sat down yesterday. I throw my stuff onto the floor and George looks sadly into my eyes from across the grass.

I breathe in the smoke and then breathe it out again. I can't believe this! How could he do this to me?