Who I Am [boyxboy]

Who I Am {4}

                “Jamie, smile. You’re too serious sometimes,” my mom said as we ate dinner. I shrugged and shoved some mashed potatoes into my mouth. She sighed. “So how was the mall today?”

                I simply shrugged again in response. “Jamie, sometimes silence is rude too you know,” my dad said sternly. “I had food in my mouth,” I said after I had swallowed. He sighed. “Fine. But when your mother asks you something, give her an actual answer. Not just a shrug.”

                “Sorry dad,” I said. ”What did you buy Jamie?” “Some jeans and a few T-shirts,” I said and shoved more food in my mouth. I didn’t feel like talking. I was too distracted. I was wondering what Ryland was doing.

                                                                                ***Ryland’s POV***

                “Ryland!” my mom was calling. “What?” I called back, partially distracted by the living room TV. Dude. Adventure Time was on. What the hell could my mom possibly need during Adventure Time?!

                “Jamie’s here!” she called. I instantly jumped up and rushed over to her. “Where?” I cried. She smirked. “I was kidding. I just needed you to get your lazy ass over here,” she said and ruffled my hair when I pouted. “No fair! That’s cheating mom!” She shrugged and pointed at the dinner table. “Go set it while I finish making dinner.”

                I went into the kitchen and set down some plates and forks. “Uh…what are we even having?” I asked. “Mac&Cheese,” she said and set down a pan of the Kraft Mac&Cheese. I chuckled.

                I sat down and scooped myself a bowl. The front door opened. “Hey everyone!” my mom’s boyfriend, Daniel, called. “Hey Danny!” I called back. He smiled at me. “Mac&Cheese?” he asked in amusement and mom and I nodded.

                Danny sat down across from me and scooped himself a plate. “So how was your day Ryland?” he asked pleasantly. I loved Danny. He was such a cool guy. 10 billion times better than my mom’s last boyfriend.

                “It was good. I was at the mall with Blaine, Jouke, and Jamie.” He nodded. “Sounds fun.” I held back laughter at the thought of our jokes against Jamie’s mom. His was the only mom we ever made jokes at because we all knew it totally wasn’t true. Jamie’s mom was so dedicated to the family. She would never sleep around.

                “What’s so funny?” Danny asked as mom sat down next to him and kissed his cheek. “Us making fun of Jamie’s mom,” I said with a shrug and laughed a little. Danny laughed and rolled his eyes. “Oh Ryland! Stop picking on poor Mrs. Fold,” mom said, shaking her head.

                I shrugged and lost my laughter instantly. Jamie always shrugged. He had been acting really weird lately. Nervous. Secretive. Like he was hiding something from all of us, especially me. It bothered me. Jamie and I had been best friends for years. The thought of him not telling me something big really bothered me. We told each other everything. Jamie was like the brother I had never had.

                “You okay Ryland?” mom asked curiously. I shrugged again and pulled out my phone. I texted Jamie, asking him if he was alright. I knew he wouldn’t reply for a while. He was probably spending time with his parents. His family was one of those “put time aside to bond” kind of families.

                I had always been kind of jealous of that. It had been just my mom and I for a long time and before she started getting serious with Danny, she was always at work to support the two of us. We barely bonded. Jamie and his parents were extremely close.

                “Ryland?” I looked up into my mom’s concerned eyes. “Yea mom?” I asked, forcing a smile. I didn’t want to worry her. “IS something wrong? Something between you and Jamie?”

                I sighed. “I don’t know mom. I feel like he’s not telling me something,” I said quietly. She looked thoughtful. “Well Ryland, if it’s important, I’m sure he’ll tell you eventually.” “I guess,” I said and started playing with my food.

                “Jamie’s such a serious kid. He needs to relax sometimes,” Danny said, smiling lightly at me. I laughed and nodded. “Yea. He does. I try to tell him that but he’s stubborn as hell!” I frowned. “He doesn’t like to smile.”

                That was something everyone thought was so weird about our friendship. I was loud, outgoing, random, crazy, spoke my mind, tried to be nice, and loved to smile.

                Jamie on the other hand was quiet, a bit shy, isolated, at times unfriendly, kept to himself, didn’t like to smile, stubborn, and brutally honest.

                But, as they say, opposites attract. Jamie was my best friend in the whole world. My phone buzzed and I eagerly checked it but frowned when I saw it was just Blaine texting me about some stupid errrr he had seen.

                Maybe TBear was bothering Jamie again. It had been almost 3 months since TBear’s death, but it had hurt Jamie.

                Or maybe it was something else. I mentally sighed. What could possibly be so bad that Jamie couldn’t trust me with it? He knew I would take every single one of his secrets to the grave.

                “Ugh, I saw 2 men kissing in the super market today,” mom said to Danny and I. I made a disgusted face. God. Fucking fags needed to stop with all the PDA. It was creeping the fuck out of me. Why would a boy want to kiss another boy? It made no sense to me. It wasn’t normal. I hated homos and errrrs.

                Homos…

                No, no, no. No way in hell Jamie was a fag. That definitely wasn’t what he was hiding from me. Jamie was the straightest guy I knew! My best friend wasn’t a fag. I can’t believe I even thought that for a second. What the hell was wrong with me? But, what was wrong with Jamie?