red hair and a blue hoodie // ed sheeran

Chapter 37 - James II and Niall's Letter

ED'S POV:

The television was a shit distraction. All that was on at this time of day was infomercials and it was nothing interesting.

Who would be stupid enough to buy this junk?

Then a new ad came on.

Oh shit. I bought that the other week.

I picked up my remote, pointed it at the sensor and the television screen went blank. I let my eyes wander around my apartment. They scanned the floor and eyed each piece of rubbish, they took in all of my clothes which were strewn all over the room and they absorbed the colours that were scattered. Royal blue on the walls, cherry red on the couch, oak brown on the floors, translucent white on the kitchen counter, a dirty grey for the ceiling fans and pale skin on my hands. I lifted my gaze and in the corner of the room, propped up against the wall was James II.

His body was still shiny, from the lack of use and his nail polish ‘plus’ in the corner glinted in the dim light. His sleek front beckoned me and as I stared at him, I stood -almost on impulse- and walked over to the newest member of my family in the corner. My fingers curled around his neck as he filled me with the potential for new memories. Walking the streets of London without a care in the world, strumming the strings that lay before me, sitting in the recording studio with my feet propped up on a table fiddling with chords and even lying upside down on my bed, plucking at his strings, gravitating back to old songs and even writing new melodies. 

I pulled the instrument up to my stomach, letting it find its natural and familiar position against my body as I pulled the shoulder strap over my head. I headed back over to the couch and sat down, letting Lloyd be propped in my lap. I looked down at the overlooked musical tool in my hands as my fingers found there natural placing against the neck. I opened my mouth to sing and went with the flow.

I should ink my skin… with your name

I should take my passport out again… just replace it

See I could do without a tan… on my left hand... where my fourth finger meets my knuckle

And I should run you a hot bath… and fill it up… with bubbles

Even though the song was meant for piano, it sounded eerily perfect for me to play the chords on my guitar. I never felt comfortable singing along to just a piano. I needed some sort of stringed instrument in the background. They kept my calm; they kept me grounded against the pressure and challenge of being perfect.

Maybe you’re lovable… and maybe you’re my snowflake

And your eyes turn from green to grey

And in the winter I’ll… hold you in a cold place

And you should never cut your hair… because I love the way you flick it off your shoulder

My fingers plucked the strings, memorizing the simple chords with ease. With each strum of the strings, happiness seemed to well inside me, spilling out of my fingers. Music always had a calming effect on me. A loud rap filled the room and my fingers froze upon the instrument, my head staring towards the door like a deer caught in headlights. I stayed like that, unable to move for quite some time. A knock sounded again, but no voice.

Could it be Zo?

My heart skipped a beat, thinking about it. My feet, now suddenly motivated by the idea that Zo could be waiting behind the door shot up and ran over to the door in three large strides. I gripped the handle and ripped open the door only to  be presented with the cleaner from before. Her face was tired and sad. She looked down at her hands which held an object I was all too familiar with. The same object that gave her insight but also the same object she had smacked into my shin.

It was Zo’s cane.

My mouth was unable to form words. I had so many questions… But before I could stutter one out, the small lady, held out the cane to me with a small piece of paper folded into a tiny square. I tenderly grabbed the items and she scurried away, without so much as a goodbye. She disappeared out of sight down the stairs, her footsteps echoing through the small staircase. After my eyes had grown tired of staring after the woman, they glanced down at the cane and letter.

My feet carried me back inside as my eyes remained glued to the articles in my hands. I retreated to the couch and flopped back down to my original seating position. My face was blank. I didn’t know how to feel. The cane wasn’t mine to begin with… Why was she giving it to me? My hand ran over the gentle wood, tracing the dints and marks that had, no doubt, been the work of her. My eyes then drifted to the letter. The paper was thin which meant I had to be careful about ripping the delicate sheet. Soon, words were staring back at me.

Hi Ed,

Its Niall here. I’ve taken Zo some place new. She can’t stay here with you – it’s not good for her. But before you ask, yes, she did want to go. I don’t think I should tell you where she is at the moment because I don’t want you doing something you will regret. Give it time mate – you will be able to see her again. But for the time being, I think it would be best if you didn’t try to make contact with her. Give it a few months. She needs to heal – she’s a broken mess. I thought I would give you back the cane as well. We all chipped in and bought her a new one. The other one was all tattered and worn.

I’ll catch up with you soon

“Go for a drink with the lads… Minus the sticky stuff... With bass...” Yeah?

I’m sorry though Ed,

Love Niall

My hands were shaking. My eye was twitching. My foot was tapping. How…? I didn’t know how I felt about this. She was gone? Wait a couple of months? Time to heal? Broken mess? Why did she need to leave? She needed to be here with me… A drop of water fell from my cheek and splattered down on to the page without a mutter of warning. I wiped at my face, ridding of the evidence of tears. Zo… My Zo… Gone.