red hair and a blue hoodie // ed sheeran

Chapter 41 - Paper Cups and Loved Up Couples

є∂'ѕ ρσν:

She left me alone. She had left me alone at the café with nothing. She had taken away what was left of my pride, my love, and my emotions. I was empty of anything. I sat down at the back of the room where my caramel latte was positioned on the edge of the bench. I could just imagine it falling off. The fall to the ground and then the splatter of the drink as it splashed down, running through the grooves in the flooring until it managed to spill out the front door of the café. Like a lukewarm river of caramel. Instead of knocking the drink like I wanted to, I perched myself on the cushioned seat and grasped the drink in my hand.

Just as I thought… Lukewarm.

I pushed the drink in the opposite direction to my mouth, repelled by the idea of putting that in my mouth. I needed something warm. But I knew the warmth I was looking for couldn’t be found in a hot beverage at the pit of your stomach or even the burn of vodka at the back of your throat. The warmth I needed could only be found in a particular person. A person with curly brown hair that bounced off her shoulders and upper back with unmoving eyes the colour of tree-tops and oak and with hands so damaged that she was afraid to touch people. I needed the warmth that came from a girl in love with various beanies and oversized sweaters. I needed the warmth of a girl who sung my own songs in an elevator. I needed the warmth of a girl who was being told to stay away from me.

Sierra had given me a look of pure and utter disgust. Her eyes were the snake and her words were the venom, poisoning me with every syllable. My hands cemented into my pockets as I waited for something to happen. I stared at the take away cup at the end of my table, willing it to move so I could move also. It felt awkward to move now. It felt wrong.

“Is this chair taken? All the other ones have jam stains.”

My train of thought was brought to a screeching halt by a young boy probably just sliding into the teenager category. His hair was scruffy and his skin had blemishes. He seemed shy and oblivious to all that was happening around him. I looked at him and followed his arm to find his hand connected to another. A girl was at the other end of his arm, her face so pure and innocent.

“No mate – it’s all yours.” I spoke out with a tight smile. He smiled and picked up the chair, releasing the grip of the girls hand as they made their way over to a small table in the front of the café, not very far away from where I was sitting. They sat down at the table smiling at each other, their hands crawling closer and closer together until their fingers intertwined like a perfect scout knot. My heart pulled as I watched the young couple. They smiled and chatted, laughed a little and then smiled a bit more.

They are happy together Sheeran. Are you jealous mate?

After realizing that I was staring, I averted my gaze back to the cup sitting on my table. It was boring me. It was so plain. I reached forward with my hand, grasping the lid lightly in my hand as I spun the cup slowly, inspecting all its sides. One twist of the cup later, I noticed a small dark stain at the bottom of the paper cup. After another spin, I was presented with a small indentation at the top of the cup, right where the lid sits. Both these imperfections could lead to catastrophe. If that dark stain turned out to be the liquid leaking through, my clothes would get wet with a wet caramel fluid but also since the current indent is a weak spot in the cup, if it were to be knocked, the cup would likely be torn letting the liquid spill as well. I then noticed my mistake.

It was something so small. Something so small that I had said that set off such a large chain of reactions. It could have all been reduced to nothing if I hadn’t been so careless and just watched my words. Our conversation came back to me in a flashback. I was back in my apartment, watching things from my eyes but I was helpless in my own body – watching the movements but unable to control anything. It was like being in the body of a stranger - a him. I was watching a girl walk aimlessly around, stumbling through her own personal darkness - a her.

“I heard the fucking conversation with your Stuart.” Her.

“What about my conversation with Stuart? I was fucking sticking up for you!” Him.

“You were not! I heard everything Sheeran from ‘blind girl’ through to ‘she wouldn’t have survived this long’. I may be blind but I’m not fucking deaf you prick.” Her.

“Did you hear the rest of the conversation?” Him.

“I said that you mean too much to me to leave alone. I said that I didn’t want to see you getting hurt. I said that I want-” Him.

“I don’t want to hear it Ed!” Her.

Then I was back in Starbucks. I looked around with blurry vision. My eyes were clouding as my hands twitched. I found the imperfect paper cup on my bench that I wanted to knock to the floor and the loved up young couple sitting at their own table, too self-absorbed in their own happiness to worry about the uncertainties in the future. I slouched down in my chair and slid my hands in my hoodie pockets, still thinking that I could find the desired warmth.

I was fooling myself.

a/n:

hi kidlets,
okay so i know this chapter is incredibly short
it was only a filler
the next one is a filler too
but i guess that it is useful for character development?
gives you an insight to ed's not-so-perfect life

hope you enjoyed anyway :)

dont forget to..
VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE!

kisses from me,
xxx