The New Babysitter | [In Process]

Chapter 10: Hold back the tears

The morning after was pretty quiet. Nothing major. Hardly any noise was in the house now that Joe was in the hospital, and Michael and I hardly exchanged any words after what happened last night.

I guess he was trying to forget, maybe he was drunk enough to manage it. But me, oh me. I couldn't forget anything. I had an imagine of his lips going up and down my neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and biting down.

I couldn't get it out of my head, how could I? It was all in slow motion, all the kisses, all the heavy breathing, all the small groans, all the grasps on body parts to try and get closer. It was all playing in my head, put some music to it and it'd be an amazing music video. But it wasn't, it was my life, and I had to forget every second of it.

Waking up was awkward, because both of us happened to wake up at the same time and look at each other, trying to remember everything. I hadn't had much alcohol at all, so it was all black and white to me, (well maybe with a little bit of grey but it was pretty clear.) while to him it was mixed.

We just kind of stared at each other and tried to guess what the other would do. We both mentally agreed on just whispering a, 'Morning.' and then asking what's for breakfast. We went downstairs, quietly ate some plain, boring cereal with the TV on for a bit and then changed, getting ready to leave for the hospital.

I texted Alice to meet me at the hospital, because I didn't want to go back home with Michael alone if anything happened.

Don't get me wrong, I was really liked him, but that was the problem. Because now after the kiss and everything more than that he realised he doesn't feel anything to me, and it fucking hurts to think that he sees me as someone who's only in his house for his son and nothing else. Just someone he's paying to entertain his kid. Hurts a lot.

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'Poppy,' I heard Alice sigh out deeply as she got up from the additional hospital chair seated next to Joe's bed. She walked over to me as soon as my face was revealed behind the opening door, and the first thing we did was hug.

It was only a day and a night apart, but we missed each other. Besides, a lot of gossip is to be done. And explaining. A lot of that needs to be done too.

'Hi.' I breathed out and closed my eyes. God did I need a proper hug. I was so hurt I didn't realise I needed someone to hear me out, someone to hold me, to tell me it was all going to be okay. Even if it wasn't going to be.

'Hey, Joe.' I said to him as he smiled widely at me. I walked over to the big hospital bed and sat down next to him, giving him a huge hug and a kiss on the head.

'I missed you, you know.' I said giving him a tighter hug. I kept him close because I was really scared about him.
There was no particular reason other than he was still hurt, and I hated that.
He looked up at me with his childish, wide smile and messed up hair and said, 'I really, really, really missed you too!'

The spark in his eyes returned, and I kissed his crazy hair again.

'where's Michael?' suddenly spoke Alice. I turned my head towards her direction.

'He couldn't find a parking spot so-'
'I'm here.' He suddenly appeared in the door way. Joe jumped up on his bed with no purpose and smiled big and wide. Michael quickly strutted over to Joe's bed and I immediately stood up from it as he went to sit down on the other side.

He accidentally touched my hand so I faced Alice, which now had an
unamused and confused expression on her face. She tilted her head in further confusing and I just shook my head while wrapping my arms under my chest.

But she wasn't satisfied.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing's wrong.' I tried to convince her, and myself in a way. I bit my lip and looked away from her eyes, down to the dirty spot on the hospital floor. But she had none of it.

'You don't look like everything is alright.' 

'Goddamn it! Nothing is wrong, everything is fine!' I exploded. Unintentionally, but I did. I felt both of the boys' eyes on me and I closed mine in regret. God damn it Alice.

I was on the verge of tears and I started shaking my head very gently. When I opened my eyes, pushing back the tears, Alice had regret and sadness in her eyes. She must have felt so bad for me. I must have looked like a complete fool. There is nothing to be mad over.
Nothing. He doesn't love me. I've had people not love me before, why does this hurt so much? How did I get so attached?

I pursed my lips into a thin, pale line and thought of something to say.

'Have you eaten anything yet?' I asked Alice, begging for the right answer to create us an excuse to leave.

'No, not yet.' I breathed out a sigh of relief. I felt a weight drop from my shoulders.

'Want to go eat something from the canteen?' I asked, hoping to god she would agree, there was a possibility everything would go wrong, which usually does for me.

'Sure.'

I turned around to Joe, and said to both of them, 'Is that okay?'

'Sure.' Replied Michael, but I depended on Joe's opinion more.

He put his finger to his lip, thinking. 'Only if you come back very soon.'
I smiled, more with relief than being kind, but for that too.

'I promise.' And with that, I was out the door already.

I turned around in a matter of seconds and walked a couple of steps out the room, swung the door open and found myself in a spacious, hospital smelling corridor. It was dark and the poor and miserable weather didn't help the situation. It felt like a ghost town corridor, empty.

'I have so much to tell you.' I whispered to Alice as I dragged her down the long, quiet corridor of doom.

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ANNNNDDD this is boring and short sorry!!! But it's going to be hopefully better in the next chapter. Today I got 150 views, whoop! Not much for others but it means a lot to me so thanks.
Commenting and liking is always highly appreciated