The Baseball Badass

Chapter 8: I've been practicing all day:

Chapter: 8

I've never been a mascot before, so I was just getting a feel for what I saw on t.v. I was trying to give off their essence of excitement as to not convey my true plans. Mwahaha. Sage is an evil genius. And this will surely get me fired. I paced around undecidedly wondering just how to get such a mass of people "Hype" as Chance called it. I turned around slightly watching the players take their positions. So we're starting now? Maybe I should of really paid attention to what Chance was saying yesterday.

But he didn't even explain anything in detail, he only explained the super obvious stuff that even I knew. And I'm not the most physically active, scratch that aware person there is. My eyes flitted around watching the crowd cheer, it seemed every second louder and louder.

So do I start out with a cartwheel or something? I think one time I saw a basketball mascot do a backflip...maybe it was lacrosse?

Shit.

Does lacrosse even have mascots?

I huffed wanting to run a hand through my hair in utter exasperation and about screamed when I couldn't because of this stupid costume.

Never mind the simple fact I can't even do a backflip.

Actually...it's simple. I'll just start out with the cheers I've been memorizing all day.

See I prepared a little bit for this.

I waited for the visitor to throw the first pitch before I put my plan in motion. Stealing the stage of the show as I walked with pep in my step back and forth in front of the bleachers clapping my hands offbeat and with the most outrageous false liveliness probably ever.

With even more cheer than Buddy from Elf, I was going to be worst mascot ever.

Though the crowd, completely oblivious to that very fact was actually getting excited and clapping along with me.

My body was getting uncomfortably warmer as I downed my excitement to awkward walking. A series of possible results clouding my mind with doubts. Should I actually go through with this? Everyone here is so happy, and -I looked over to Chance at the pitcher's mound. He ran a hand over the brim of his helmet, spat out something and then twisted his foot in his spit. He gave the opposite team's batter a dirty look, so spiteful it could of come along with a growl.

Well I guess Chance looks happy-ish.

Wait...Chance happy?

I got your happiness Mr.-Iphone-breaker.

Game on.

My voice was shakey as I started singing a baseball classic of course with my own twist. My yelling voice came out scratchy but I forced it to stay firm and sing-songey, belching twisted lyrics for all to hear.

"Throw me out of the ballgame.
I already don't like the crowwwwwd.
You can keep your peanuts and cracker jacks.
Honestly I think my team plays like crap."

The crowds faces instantly dropped in shock and utter confusion. And everyone singing the original looked as if I had just spat on their grandmother. I continued my version singing stronger and with renowned confidence, even closing my eyes behind the big foot head to get more into it and express my hatred.

"And I won't root root root for my home team.
They'll only probably trudge off in shame. I have no team spirit so
fuck
off
to all
here watching a baseball gameeeeee!"

I stopped my clap-walk and kneeled awkwardly in front of the stands waving spirit fingers. Spiritttttttt. The once so spirited supportive community of William Hart's baseball team looked like innocent little whos watching the Grinch as I stood there almost strutting in the fact I was ruining the game.