You Crack Me Up, Steven (A Sam & Max + Steven Universe Crossover)

Chapter 3

Five hours ago, it had been just another day in the life of the Freelance Police: Sam was reclining at his desk strumming away at his banjo, while Max was trying to squish an unfortunate cockroach with his hammer.

As Sam plucked away at his banjo, he began to sing a familiar yet unfamiliar tune.

"When I see the way you act, Wondering when I'm coming back, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you ....Hmm, still feels unfinished," He mumbled to himself.

RIIIIIING!!!!

"I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!!!"

Once again, the siren of Sam and Max's phone rang throughout the office, sending the strange duo diving for the phone shoving and pushing each other away. Finally, Sam had Max pinned against the wall with his foot as he got to the phone first, answering the phone without fuss.

"Yeah? Yeah? Uh-huh? Uh-huh? No! She said that? Yeah? Yeah? Roger! Billy! Mandy! We're on it!" He then hung up the phone, and released Max from his foot trap. "That was the Commissioner, Max."

"Did another network president go missing?" Max asked.

"Thankfully not, but they're still looking for that naive schlub who thought it was wise to dump live-action litter in an all-cartoon zone." A horrific scream and banging was heard in Sam and Max's closet, but the duo just ignored it. "That reminds me, Max, did you remember to feed Stu today?"

"I'm training him to fetch it himself with his wrists tied to his ankles," Max simply said.

"Oh well. The Commissioner's all hepped up about some strange happenings over at the faraway land of Beach City!" Sam explained. "Locals, restaurant owners, and even Sinbad wannabes are disappearing on mass!"

"Oh my gosh, Sam! You said 'on mass!!'" Max panicked. "Also, who would WANT to be Sinbad?"

"Pinhead!"

"Where IS Beach City, Max? I mean, Sam?"

"Up there, little buddy," Sam pointed toward the sky. "Beyond the very stars in the soup of our chunky universe."

"You mean, we're going to the Multiverse?!" Max exclaimed, eyes widening in wonder.

"That's correct, Max."

"Oh boy!" Max cheered. "We better pack the essentials!!"

So Sam and Max packed up the essentials for their case -which was almost everything in their office- as they made their way out to the car.

"Did you remember to sew ID tags in your underwear?" Sam asked.

"But I don't-"

"Oh yeah." Sam remembered. "...Me neither."

But just as Sam and Max were about to get to their car, the movie had ended, and Pearl's gem had ceased the projecting -much to her relief.

"Awww," Steven moaned. "It was just getting good too."

"And thus," Sam finished. "We hitched up our traveling pants -well one of us, anyway- and then we stuffed our muffler with thousands and thousands of match heads, ignited them, and blasted off into the wild multi-yonder!"

"And that worked?" Pearl found that hard to believe.

"You bet it did. But I wouldn't recommend you trying it at home, Steven," Sam warned as he ruffled the youngster's hair. "Leave it to PROFESSIONAL boneheads, like Max and I!"