Love Arranged (#1)

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: Maggie

He hasn't been coming over ever since.

I honestly didn't know what to presume of that considering he just went from spontaneously welcoming himself into our house to just not... doing so anymore.

Yes, I don't wanna have to contradict myself and say that I didn't want this, because I did, and in a way, I am content with the fact that he's not visiting anymore.

But the spontaneity of it did catch me off guard because I didn't think that I'd be able to just shoo him off like that. However, in his defense, I did throw a glass of orange juice at him.

If it were the other way around, I wouldn't wanna be near me either.

Then again, who would ever wanna be near me in the first place?

"How can you expect anyone to want to be with you, Carter?"

"To actually wanna be engaged to you?"

"No, don't think about it." I keep telling myself, recapitulating what he had said, and feeling myself become bitter each time "He deserved this, and him not being here is good for you."

Which it is, I don't wanna have to let the unavoidable guilt fool me into thinking that all of this was my fault. Like him not knowing his limits and where his boundaries are is my fault.

I shouldn't let his crass behavior go unnoticed. He's had people let him get away with things his entire life and for once, me being fully aware of all the rash actions he's done, discreet or not, will not go unnoticed. I'm not gonna allow him to think that the way he acts, being so ignorant of other people's feelings and all, is acceptable.

Yes, maybe I am being hypocritical because I've been doing anything but, but the truth is, when it comes to people like Evan, they don't need someone sugarcoating things for them.

What they need is a big, fat reality check to be slapped right across their faces.

Call me harsh, but that's how I deal with things. I don't deal with things by being gentle, by being naive, and just letting the other person recklessly go around doing as they please thinking they'll change on their own.

Some people might be able to do that, to pick up quickly on what they did wrong and to try and better themselves afterward, but I knew the second I met Evan was that he does things with an uninhibited mindset.

Which explains this dull, lingering feeling of him not being here and not wanting to be around me nor this house, because this is what I want, but why doesn't it feel that way?

"Hey," I look up from the book that I'm reading to see my mother peeking her head inside my room. "I just wanted to let you know that the Williams invited us for brunch at their house."

The information gave me a sudden rush of both restlessness and weirdly enough... exhilaration as well. I felt uneasy about this whole thing but at the same time, I'm looking forward to it.

* * *

We drove to the Williams residence, with me being deep in thought, sitting in the passenger seat with my cheek resting on my knuckles, gazing longingly outside the car's window, wondering if Evan is currently at their house or if he isn't.

If he is, God forbid we see each other.

I don't know if there will be an awkward tension that'll arise between us, the argument that we had days ago was pretty intense, and in a way, it was also the first time I've ever really... opened up to him.