The Weaker Sex (Unedited)

Chapter 28

A beautiful Sunday morning, that usually cleansed me for the rest of the week, was frightening and uncomfortable. We sat in the back pew of the Baptist church; participating in prayer and listening to the preacher man give his sermon. I ignored the hushed whispers and looks being given my way. Tobias clasped my hand over his knee, pretending that everything was just fine. As the final song was sung, Tobias led me right out to the parking lot only to be stopped by the preacher man. Pastor Smith thanked us for coming out for another lovely Sunday. Tobias shook his hand, sliding it back into his pocket as he wrapped a protective arm around my waist.

Pastor Smith turned to me with a sorry expression wondering about my bandaged nose. I smiled, offering him the story about tripping over my own heels into the bedpost. He glanced at Tobias who confirmed it with a nod. A few of the busybodies perched their ears to hear our conversation. I fell, that was a story everyone was to know. He wished us a good Sunday afternoon then went onto the Briar family. Tobias opened the door to the SUV for me then waved to his parents who were standing across the way at the entrance of the church. Our Sunday was calm with no harsh tones or violent outbursts. Tobias massaged my feet and made dinner so I could rest up in case I really was pregnant with his kid.

I found it funny he actually questioned it as if I would really dare lay with any other man. He cuddled me into his chest, wrapping me up in a protective hold like he used to in our first year of marriage. I remembered always feeling safe when he held me that close, but now it felt as if he were holding me so I wouldn't run. He was my prison, and the unforgiving warden.

Monday morning was finally upon us and I awoke at the normal time to get ready for work when Tobias entered, carrying my breakfast on a tray with the announcement that he'd sent the school my letter of resignation. I was now going to be a housewife and raise his children. It filled me up with a rage that died quickly when I lunged out of bed and landed straight in the strong grasp of his hand around my neck. He pressed my body into his, stroking the back of my head assuring me that all would be okay and that this was a good thing. Before leaving, he told me we'd be going to the doctor in two to three weeks when my nose was healed and the black eyes were completely gone.

I sat on the bed, my hands on my stomach. A Delaney baby was growing inside me. I sent up a silent prayer that it be a girl and she be the one to soften his heart and treat me like he used to. The next three weeks were yet again another sweet honeymoon. Every morning I could expect breakfast in bed and a loving massage at night. He'd come home on time smelling of cologne instead of Jack Daniels. He'd kiss me and play with my hair instead of hitting me and dragging me by my hair. I thought back to what Stephen the Marine had said. He caught all his flies with honey-covered shit. That thought hung over me on most nights until the night before the doctor's visit when Tobias seemed to realize I didn't believe anything he said.

We were lying in bed, the clock reading somewhere around 2 in the morning. Tobias rolled over onto his side whispering my name to see if I was awake. I responded in a small sigh, turning my head towards him. He placed a heavy hand on my cheek, his voice cracking with the attempt to say something. I sat up and turned on the light. His eyes were reddened with tears and guilt. He leaned against the headboard wiping the moisture away with the pads of his thumbs.

Tobias took in a deep breath beginning his apologetic monologue. He confessed to mistreating me and using me as a punching bag. He blamed it all on stress and pressure from his father to not only keep the town in check, but his home as well. He reached over to grasp my hand and held it to his chest over his heart.

"Things have to change, this baby can't grow up with us fighting." he said.

You were fighting. I was surviving.