Trust (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 13: Settling In

I was woken up the next morning by and annoying knocking at the door. A nurse came in and set a cup of pills beside me and one beside Josh. I was to tired to argue, so I just took the pills without questioning.

"Open."

I confusedly opened my mouth and she looked into my mouth, before moving on to Josh.

"Sorry, I have to make sure you took the pills. Some patients like to hide them under their tongues." She picked up the empty cups and set them back on a tray with other cups of pills. "Here are your schedules. If you have any questions just find a nurse in the hallway." She smiled.

We nodded so she left us. I took a minute to look over my schedule.

"What have you got?" Josh asked.

"First breakfast, then group therapy, then activity room, then lunch, then private therapy, then free time until dinner."

"We have activity time, whatever that is, and meals together, but other than that nothing."

My schedule was breakfast, private therapy, activity time, lunch, group therapy, free time, and finally, dinner.

The nurses had left us clothes to wear, so I got up and put the grey sweatpants and white t-shirt on. I felt naked without a jacket or long sleeves. My scars were on display for everyone to see. I took a deep breath and turned back around. Josh was already dressed, so we walked to the cafeteria together.

We found a table towards the back and sat down with our breakfast, which looked disgusting. We chatted a little while we ate, but both of us were really too tired to say much.

I said goodbye to him as we turned down different halls. I finally found Room 107 on the third hall. I knocked before entering and a woman with too much lipstick smiled at me from across the desk.

"Have a seat."

I nervously sat on the cushioned chair and waited for her to speak again.

When she looked at me I was a little taken aback. She looked like a female version of Harry, except her eyes weren't as bright. She had the same dark curls that framed her face, but they were a lot longer than Harry's.

"My name is Emily and you must be Louis."

I nodded shyly and she sat back in her chair. She studied me for a few minutes, and just when I was starting to feel uncomfortable, she spoke up.

"Why are you here?"

"Isn't that in your notes?" I sighed. "I thought it was pretty obvious. I have depression and anxiety."

"That's not what I meant. I want to know why you're here in the first place. Not many people will voluntarily check themselves into a mental hospital."

"I'm only doing it for my boyfriend."

"Tell me about him."

I stayed quiet for a few minutes, trying to figure out the right thing to say. I didn't want to go overboard and give her unnecessary details. Also, talking about him would only make me miss him more.

"He has brown curly hair and green eyes, kinda like you. He has a really deep voice and he talks really slow, but in the mornings it's raspy and quick. He likes to walk around our flat in only his boxers and he always makes me breakfast in the morning. He takes care of me when I'm sick, and he watches out for me when I'm scared. We both came from foster parents, but we live together now and he always meets me where I work and we walk home together. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met, but I hated him when I first met him. Honestly, I'd probably be dead if it weren't for him. He's stopped me so many times." I took a deep breath and waited for her reaction.

I may have gotten a bit carried away, but there was a smile on my face and that's all that mattered. She was also smiling.

"He means alot to you yeah?"

"I wouldn't be here if he didn't."

She chuckled at that and leaned forward on her elbows. She rummaged through her desk before pulling out a rubber band. She handed it to me.

"Put this on your wrist and every time you feel like harming yourself, just snap it against your wrist."

I slipped the rubber band onto my wrist and looked back at her.

"Since this is your first session and I know you won't trust me completely, I want you to tell me what you want. I'm going to tell you a secret though. The more I know, the faster I can get you out of here."

I laughed a little at that. I did want to get out of here. I missed Harry even though it'd only been a day and I had a life that I had to get back to. I didn't want to tell her anything, but I knew Harry would want me too. Besides, anything I said was confidential.

I started at the very beginning, from my first foster home and I worked my way up to where I am now. I left out a few details, but most of the important things were said.

She listened silently, with the occasional question or nodd. At the end of my story she blew out a big breath.

"It's understandable to be in your condition after all of that." She grimaced.

"I'd like you to practice thinking good thoughts about yourself. Every morning when you wake up I want you to look in the mirror and say to yourself 'I am enough'. If that doesn't work, or if you're in a particularly bad mood then just think of what Harry would do or say."

"Yes ma'am."

"Please, call me Emily. Ma'am makes me feel old. IT was nice meeting you and I'm excited to talk to you again tomorrow morning, then we can really get down to business."

I grinned and shook her outstretched hand. She gave a small wave as I exited the room. I found a nurse in the hallway and she directed me to the activity room.

The activity room turned out to be a room filled with books, instruments, CDs, art supplies, games, laptops and everything else you could do for fun.

I met Josh over by the drums and he grinned at me before playing a tune. I clapped at the end of it and he thanked me. I excused myself and checked out a laptop.

I pulled up Harry's contact on Skype and he answered after a few rings.

"Hey babe!" He grinned. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you. Is everything okay there?"

"Yeah, but I think Larry misses you, he just keeps walking around and meowing." He laughed.

"That's adorable!" I cooed.

"He misses his daddy." Harry smiled sadly."I miss you too."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

For the next forty five minutes I talked to Harry and I was about to cry when I finally had to say goodbye. Harry begged me not to cry, because then he would start crying and we'd both be a mess. We blew each other a kiss then I hung up.

I gathered myself before getting up to turn the laptop back in.

Josh and I went to lunch together and once again parted ways to go to our next thing.

Group therapy was weird and I absolutely hated it. I had to talk in front of about ten or fifteen people and they all gave me judging looks. I refused to speak about my past, so eventually Mrs. Debra just told me to sit down.

I was exhausted by the time I got back to my room after dinner. I took a hot shower and brushed my teeth then slid under the covers. I said goodnight to Josh and ten minutes later, I had fallen asleep.