QUESTION
"I've been in a relationship for 4 months now, and my boyfriend really loves me a lot. He's serious for me, but I want to break-up... but how do i do it??? Please help me plzzzzzz!!!! Actually breaking up now its a lil difficult for me, i mean we both meet and talk on phone everyday -- and then suddenly break-up? I told this problem to a friend of mine; she told me that i should start ignoring him, then slowly he will get a hint that something is going to be happen. I'm trying my best to ignore him but it is lil difficult....so do u think i should ignore him???? plz help......"
Thanks Shanny for your question.
ANSWER
Break-ups... They are no fun, but they are a very necessary part of life. Think of the alternative: spending your life miserable with a person you're not compatible with! So even though breaking-up is hard to do, it's the right & best thing to do.
HOW: The best way? Just be honest. Tell him you're breaking up with him and why. Don't be mean... but don't lie to him either. Be CRYSTAL CLEAR. Don't leave him hanging, thinking there might be another chance. Be kind but also be firm.
WHEN: Right now. Don't wait. Don't drag it out. The longer you stay, the more miserable you'll be, and harder the break-up will be. Do it as soon as possible.
WHERE: In person, and in a public place. Don't break-up over the phone or text or facebook or insta or even twitter-- have more class than that. Tell him the truth, to his face. Do it in a public place, where he can't explode on you with emotion or cursing or violence.
THEN WHAT? Well, you need to give yourself 3 solid weeks AWAY from him -- no phone calls, no texts, no dates. It sounds "cold" and "harsh", but the fastest and best way for BOTH of your to get through this break-up is to be apart from each other. Do fun stuff with your girlfriends! Go out to eat and to see movies. Eat well! Get regular exercise! Dance in your room alone to loud music! And get plenty of sleep (8 or more hours per night). And don't start dating anyone else for AT LEAST a month. You need to give yourself that time to heal.
For the hints part
Well, uhm... guys aren't good at getting hints. Guys have to be told straight up what is going on and what to expect -- and even then, sometimes they still don't get it!
What i mean to say is this: this fella needs you to be CLEAR with him about the status of your relationship: "We are broken up. We're not together. We're not dating any more. I am not your girlfriend and you are not my boyfriend." etc.
Then, once you've been clear about your new, well-defined relationship status, be clear with him about what he can expect between the two of you from now on, now that you are no longer a couple: "Since we are not a couple, we won't talk or text everyday. We won't be seeing each other every day. We won't be kissing / hugging. If i see you, i'll be nice to you because i'm a nice person -- but my niceness does not mean we are back together -- it means i'm nice to people -- that's it. You can date other girls and i can date other guys because WE are no longer dating each other."
It may sound like i'm being over-the-top here, but i promise i'm not.
And after you've been clear with him, it might not be a bad idea to have him repeat back to you what he heard you say, so you can further clear up any misunderstandings he may still have!
Hints won't work. You'll have to do the hard work of making a clean break with him. Be nice -- but be firm and clear.
A/N
Hey everyone,
Hope you liked this chapter
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Flowers and blue mangoes¤☆¤
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