Teenage Notes

Boyfriend's Brother

Question:
"Hi. My name's Riley(i'm 15) and as cliché as my problem would sound, I really need your help. So i've been dating this guy(his name is John and he's also 15) for about 5 months now. He's nice and all but it's not him I really like. I've realized I actually am inlove with his older brother who's name is Mark and is 16. I don't know what to do and how to stop what i've been feeling for his brother. Mark also likes me cause one day we were alone and we ended up kissing. Should I come clean and confess? Should I break up with him? Do you think i'm in a phase? I'll really appreciate it if you give me answers. Thanks."

Answer:
Very dangerous territory you are treading on. You don't want to ruin their relationship nor yours with your boyfriend. This could be nothing more than an infatuation or crush and will subside in a month or two.

If the feelings are still there, then you need to re-evaluate how you really feel about your current boyfriend.

I hate to be a downer, but maybe you don't break the news to John at all. You've met Mark a few times and only kissed him once.

That's not enough experience with a guy to be so certain you're in love with him, especially since he happens to be the kind of person who'd go behind his brother's back and try to steal his girlfriend.

I know you told me that it isn't at all like that, that your love is so undeniable that Mark can't help himself, but I just don't buy it. I'm no fan of that Mark guy for what he is doing.

The reason you are thinking about him is more like a "crush" situation. He appeals to something in you - he's cute, or he's funny, or something that you don't get from your bf.

Once you discover what it is that makes him attractive to you, then you may be able to get rid of the feelings. Just remind yourself that sure, he may be cute or funny, but you love your bf (or atleast you told me you do) and you would never want to jeapardize that. If you can't get past it, then you need to break up with your bf and stop seeing him and his brother.

For now, I advice you to think about how much you really love your boyfriend. If you still are persistent break up with him, but don't go seeing his brother. Telling him you are in love with his brother would kill him and his ego. I'm sure this is just a stupid crush and probably a phase and I hope that in the end you make the right decision.

A/N
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