When The Doctor Was Me (Frerard Doctor Who AU)

Cannibalism Jokes Make For An Awkward First Impression

Frank Iero was just your average loser. He got decent enough grades to pass highschool. He managed to find a decent enough job to pay his rent. Everything in his life was just barely enough. He never saw himself as special in anyway, but the tardis seemed to think otherwise.

While the Doctor was still unconscious from regeneration, it was her job to land safely. She needed somewhere she knew the Doctor couldn't get into too much trouble.

His general rushed coordinates had her flying through the dark skys of some inhabited earth state. It wasn't the usual side of the globe that the doctor preferred, but she could work with it. She just needed a safe place, if she could find one.

If only the doctor had finished the coordinates.

She lowered slowly, still trying to find a safe enough spot. For some reason, it felt safe to end up in this exact spot. That spot just so happened to be Frank Iero's bathroom.

Frank was just laying in his room when he heard the strange noise from just down the hall. He sat up quickly, his eyes growing wide. What in God's green earth had that been? Did his neighbor's have a meth lab that just exploded? (Between you and Frank, they did come home with unusually large amounts of cleaning supplies.)

Frank listened for the crackling of fire climbing the walls, or the crumbling of his floor falling into the apartment below. However, the noise had just turned into an unsettling silence.

He gulped, forcing himself to drape his legs over the side of the bed to stand. He grabbed a dark hoodie from the floor beside his feet and slid it over his bare chest. His Halloween themed pajama pants hid the slight shaking of his legs as he began to slide his feet over to his slightly ajar bedroom door.

"I've got a baseball bat.." Frank bluffed as he got closer, "I have one hell of an arm..."

He stopped at the back of the door, sucking in a deep breath before reaching tugging it open. He saw nothing in the dark, at first. His apartment looked normal. His vinyls were still on their shelf, directly in view from his room at the end of the hall, and the corner of his small TV was visible.

"Is anyone..." Frank trailed off as he noticed a bit of smoke filling the air. The possibility of a meth lab fire was becoming more and more plausible in Frank's mind. He followed the smoke and found his eyes resting on his bathroom door.

"Shit, my phone's in there!" He hissed, inching towards it. He couldn't afford another one if there was a fire. It could take weeks to replace. "My priorities..." He mumbled, reaching out to grip the doorknob.

The knob was surprisingly cold. Frank looked at it in confusion. If there wasn't fire, then why was there smoke?..

He twisted the knob, pulling it towards him with a quick intake of breath. A small puff of smoke rose up with the swishing motion of the door, making Frank cough a bit. He wiped at the air with his arm, looking into the darkness of the small room.

There was his sink, his toilet, his bathtu-wait a minute. Where his bathtub was before, was now just rubble. In its place was a large blue box thing that definitely wasn't there when Frank slipped in to pee about twenty minutes ago.

"What the hell?.." He whispered, looking the blue wooden box up and down. There were two doors facing his direction with the words 'police phone box' above them. Frank had never even heard of something like that. Where was that even from? Why was it in his bathroom?

He crept closer to the box, feeling compelled to it for some reason. Despite it intruding on his bathroom and destroying his tub, it felt safe for some reason. It felt comforting to creep closer.

"What the actual hell?" Frank stopped his inching forward. How did this make any sense? Why was he going towards this weird thing in his bathroom? Why and how was it even here?

All these questions, but Frank was unconsciously inching forward once again. He reached out, pressing his hand against the colored wood. He jerked it back quickly when the door began to swing open slowly. His hazel eyes grew wider, if possible, watching the door move.

Was it going to explode?

Frank was hesitant, but found himself taking steps up and into the contraption. Whatever it was. Frank just shook his head, muttering, "I must be insane", lowly under his breath.

He stepped forward, past the crack of the door's opening and into the thing that destroyed his bathtub. He couldn't believe the thing he saw.

This thing was enormous. It was impossible that all of this fit in the once space of his bathtub. It was far bigger on the inside, with things like: steps, machines, railings, and passeges? Where the hell could they even go?

Frank gasped at everything around him. It couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming. He pushed some of his dark hair away from his face, taking a small step back. He jumped at the sound of someone's voice.

"A ginger! I'm finally a ginger!.. Thought it would be more exciting, honestly." The voice laughed in amazement.

Frank panicked. Someone was actually in this thing? What even was this thing? Why did it have to destroy his tub and restful evening?

There was a clicking noise behind Frank, making him spin on his heels. When he jumped, he had accidentally hit the door, sending it back to its closed position. Frank cried out, quietly, reaching to grab the door handle and pull it open again. If only it was so simple.

He squealed as the sound of a door closing echoed around him. He was in trouble. He was so dead, even though this was an intrusion on his bathroom.

"Time to show off my new-" The same voice that had exclaimed about being a ginger, for some reason, was coming close. He stopped mid sentence when he noticed the human that was tugging at the tardis' door. The dark haired boy stopped, turning his wide eyes to him.

It was, indeed, a ginger man. He wore a black suit with a pink shirt underneath. He tilted his head curiously at Frank, like he was just as curious as to why Frank was here in his whatever this was.

The man smiled. "Well, hello."

Frank pulled back from the door, bringing his hands and arms close to his waist. He locked his hands together, as well as locking his knees in place, feeling a slight fear at the stranger.

The man just laughed. "Don't worry! I don't bite! Don't think so at least, hopefully I'm not a cannibal."

Frank let out a cry, making the man reach out his hands and shake them while shaking his head.

"No! I'm kidding!" He insisted with a nervous look, "You're not my species anyway, so you're fine."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Frank asked, shuffling back slightly.

The man looked like he was thinking hard for an explanation. "That last bit was part of the joke, but also kind of not." The man finally replied in an uncertain tone, "You see, I'm not as human as I look. This is a terrible first impression, can I get you a tea or something?" He gestured behind him, as if there was a kitchen or something in that direction.

"Am I gunna die?" Frank asked, feeling a bit light headed.

"Bloody hell, I'm not a murderer!" The red headed man exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Is it the ginger? Do people not trust gingers? Is this why it took so long!?"

Frank let out a nervous squeak before falling to the ground. The man let out a cry before rushing over to him.

"Oh dear, did you lock your knees? That's stupid! You're not supposed to, it can make you pass out! Circulation, circulation..." The man mumbled as Frank felt himself do exactly that.