Bill Cipher x Reader (One Shots | Completed!)

Drunk! Reader x Drunk! Bill - Drunken Confessions

Sorry for the late post. I was stuck in school and hiatus ;-; BUT now I'm back! So here's to starting off with a drunk reader! Also, requested by: @EeveeStarChild

It's quite shitty but drunken ones are supposed to be, aren't they? Anyway, onto the one-shot!:

"Enough is enough, (Y/N)," Dipper tried to take the vodka bottle away from you.

"Noooo, enough is never enough!" You whined like a child, playing tug of war with the bottle and Dipper. Recently, you had gotten a promotion at your job and so in celebration, you and your friends (slash co-workers) went to go out drinking.

"Let her have her vodka, Dippy!" Mabel, Dipper's sister, laughed.

"I think she's earned it!" Mabel added on. Dipper rolled his eyes and let go of the bottle. You, in victory, held it close you and kissed it.

"She's going to regret it in the morning," Dipper sat back on the bar seat. Next to him was Bill, who was swirling an olive with a toothpick in his margarita. Bill's face was stern and he seemed to be gazing off into the distance, probably thinking of some deep subjects.

"Something of the matter?" Dipper asked. Bill was usually the one who got drunk at the bar, not (Y/N). Seeing Bill so off character was kind of weird for Dipper. Bill was one to always have a perky, and somewhat strange, attitude.

"Nothing..." Bill mumbled. Dipper shook his head, not wanting to prod into Bill's business.

"Bar tender, get me something stronger," Bill said and pushed away his margarita.

"Commin' right up!" The bartender replied and started to make something behind the counter. Later when it the drink was finished Bill took one sip. It exploded his taste buds and made him soon forget the problem he faced. He ordered one drink after another until he drank himself as drunk as (Y/N).

~~~

"And then she dumped me!" Bill complained to Dipper, completely slurring his words.

Dipper's face cringed at Bill's complaints. He didn't really like Bill, but since Dipper cared for (Y/N), he listened to Bill's problems.

Mabel had left, probably with another man, and hopefully, Dipper thought she wouldn't do anything too stupid. (Y/N) had somehow gotten a hold of the karaoke set and was now singing on stage as Bill slurred out his worries to Dipper.

"Oh yes, why would she ever dump someone like you?" Dipper's sarcasm slipped through Bill like sweet honey.

"I know right? I mean who would dump all of this?!" Bill stood up and mentioned to his whole self. Dipper groaned, facepalming. Then he wondered why he was still in here. Mabel had left, so why couldn't he?

'Oh right,' he thought, '(Y/N)...'

Speaking of the newly promoted and drunken girl, (Y/N) had turned the mic up to full volume and started singing, even worse than before. At least what she was singing now was better than Justin Bieber songs.

"This Demon had got it going on!~" She shouted into the mic and pointed towards the two at the bar. Thankfully the trio were the only ones left besides some old drunkard who passed out ages ago.

(Y/N)'s sudden burst captured their attention. Dipper and Bill turned heads to see the girl almost buck naked on the tiny stage. The only thing she had on was a tied crop top with her bra and her orange polka-dot undies, which made the two men blush profoundly.

"Stop drooling, you'll catch flies," Dipper whispered as he shut Bill's mouth, along with own too. Bill eyed (Y/N). He didn't care if she was semi-nude or if her hair was crazily tossed, her beer flushed face looked pretty good to him.

"He's all I want and I've waited for so long!~ Dipper can't you see," (Y/N) sung with such voice Bill trembled at the spot, "You're just not the guy for me~" She giggled.

Dipper didn't care if (Y/N) was rejecting him now. He just wanted this night to be over with. Besides the point, he was alread head over heels for a certain blonde at his workplace. 

Bill stood up after (Y/N)'s last verse, using Dipper's face to push himself up onto the table next to them.

"Hey!—" Dipper squirmed under Bill's huge hand, shoving it off easily. He glared at Bill, even though he wasn't glaring back since he was so lovestruck with (Y/N).

At the same time, (Y/N) had moved from the stage to a nearby pole dancing area. With one hand she twirled herself around on the pole and with the other she held the microphone close to her lips, as she sang more of the song.

"I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with this demon~" She finished, pointing to Bill. By then Bill was already standing in front of (Y/N), confessing his undying love for her too. The two somehow recited perfect lines from Romeo and Juliet much to Dipper's confusion.

"Come with me and we can run away together!"

Bill held out his arms as (Y/N) jumped into them. Due to Bill's lack of control of his upper-body, he dropped (Y/N) but he used himself as a cushion for her fall. Then the two landed onto the floor in a mess of sloppy smooches and giggles.

Dipper was going to let it slide downhill from there until he saw (Y/N)'s crop top fly by and land on top of a beer bottle next to him. With wide eyes, he picked up and threw it behind him.

"Okay, I think it's time to go!" Dipper's face was red with embarrassment.

He separated the two by their collars much to their dismay and dragged them out of the bar to their mini-van in the empty parking lot. Thankfully, the two passed out in the back seats after making confirmed plans for their wedding in Fiji.

And during that long silencing drive home, Dipper knew that he would never EVER, under any circumstances get (Y/N) AND Bill drunk again.