Mud | Obikin

2.

I wake up at dawn. It has finally stopped raining and the choking dampness of the day is still to come.

Anakin is knotted in his sheet, snoring lightly.
He's the most gifted Jedi I'll ever see, and far taller than me, but he's just a boy. War, duty and deaths can't change this.

This melancholic mood does not befit me. I guess it's this planet's fault. All this rain.

There's a message from Windu on the holopad; almost inexpressive, not a word about the successful mission, but he says that a ship is coming for us tomorrow.

We're leaving this place.
I expected relief, but all I feel is a noxious weight on my chest.

"Nonsense," I mutter to myself, trying to remember why I was so eager to leave just hours ago.

I must get away from him, of course, as fast as I can. This is what I need but, evidently, not what I want.

I consider waking him up to share the good news.
I imagine his smile as he understands that he will see her again soon. I let this hurt me.

"He's not mine," I repeat to myself, exiting the tent. "Has never been."

Outside, the Clone's work is impressive. Despite the mud, the camp is tidy and functional. Behind the hill, I see the immobile destruction of the battlefield. No more Clones, dead or alive, there. Only thousands of droids' remains.

I enter the huge common tent where the soldiers are having breakfast. I search their eyes for sorrow, but only find a hint of tiredness.

Rex hands me a food tray and stands at my side while I eat.

"You have been working hard this night. The result is incredible."

"Thank you, sir."

"The Council congratulates for the victory and demands us to return. A ship will be here in thirty-six hours."

His smile is so short I'm not even sure it was there. "Roger, sir. Everything will be ready for tomorrow."

As he walks away, I notice Anakin's tall head looking around for me. I must force myself not to hide.
When he finally finds me, he grabs a tray and comes sit on my bench. He pats my shoulder, slurring ''morning' with his mouth already full of food.

I want to dump the heavy load before anything else. "Windu must have been listening to your whines. We leave tomorrow."

He smiles like a child, exactly as I foresaw. I concentrate on not feeling anything.

"I can't believe it. We finally leave this mud ball. You know, I think I've never hated a planet this much, except for Tatooine. Force, after all this rain even the desert looks appealing!" Then, suddenly thoughtful. "Do you think these people will be good without us?"

"We did all we could, now it's up to them. Rain season is about to end, I count on them being able to reconstruct in time for the next harvest."

"Sometimes, I see things this way too. But, most of the time, it all looks meaningless. The war goes on, what we did here counts nothing. We keep filling a leaking bucket."

"We need rest. Everything will be easier when we are home."

My words are empty, and he ignores them. "At the same time, I don't want to leave. You can't wait to get rid of me, but I like being on a mission with you. We always lose something on Coruscant."

As usual, he can express what I can't even think. I gape at him, amazed.

"I feel like this too," I admit, and reprise eating.