Mud | Obikin

12.

I fail to hold back laughter, aggravating the situation.

"I'm not making fun of you, Ahsoka. I pictured Anakin as an apron-wearing mum, baking you cookies."

She gives me an impish look. "Ehm... to be honest, you were the mum of my mental image."

I laugh even louder though her words are melting something inside me.

"You're not childish," I tell her. "Sharing these things isn't easy, I'm glad you did it with me. It's important to recognise these moments when they come."

"I dunno. Sometimes, understanding what is right and what is not is hard. A family... Isn't it selfish? I don't even know if this is a thing I'm allowed to feel."

"Of course you are. You care for people who matter to you and want them by your side; this can't be wrong. Jedi would be very bleak people, otherwise. Acknowledge and accept your feelings, but don't let them rule you. What you feel is not what you are."

She nods, staring at her knees. Then, she raises her eyes to meet mine. "What of rage and hate? How can I accept them when the Code itself says they shouldn't be?"

"It doesn't say they shouldn't be. Jedi aren't immune to hate, fear, and passions - How could they be? Nonetheless, they should be able to overcome them."

Anakin throws himself into one of the armchairs in front of us and places his boots on the coffee table. "Oh no, he's lecturing you. I shouldn't have left you alone."

"There's no need to lecture her, she could be the one lecturing us any day. Hard to believe she's your Padawan."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. I see it's still impossible to you to give a compliment without compensating it with something unpleasant."

"And I see you still love making fun of everyone except yourself."

We exchange a long, heated look that makes Ahsoka wince.

Quin is about to sit in the other armchair but stops midway to study us.

"Oh," he says.

We all questioningly stare at him as he sits.

"Nevermind. I had a sudden revelation. Nothing important. Keep arguing."

"Let's talk about something else, instead," says too quickly Ahsoka. "I've heard Padme got hurt in last night explosion."

Anakin and I are avoiding to look at each other.

Quin lingers on us as he speaks. "I didn't know it. Is she ok?"

"Yes Anakin, is she ok?" I echo, immediately regretting my harsh tone.

Anakin looks at me with curiosity. "I was with her when it happened. It's just a bruise."

I'm on the cusp of asking where and how big this bruise is, but I bite my tongue in time.

Ahsoka frantically searches something to break the awkward silence. "Perhaps, I should pay her a visit to check how she is. Want to come with me, Master?"

I decide not to listen to Anakin's answer and bring the cups to the kitchen. While I'm there, I rinse them in the sink as slow as I can, letting hot water burn me.

When I get back, my friends are discussing politics. I turn the autopilot on, focusing on their attitudes more than on their words.

Quin is relaxed and confident. He enjoys challenging me on hot topics but is more moderate than he may appear.
Anakin's by default sided with the less defendable opinion, perpetually attempting to show off his wit.
Ahsoka only intervenes when she believes she knows the matter enough. She tends to be a bit of an extremist, but I forgive this in reason of her young age and of her Master's influence.

The discussion moves to war, then to strategy, getting more and more technical, so that she gradually loses interest.
When they debate whether to use an AT-TE or an AT-OT to transport men on rough terrains, her head slips on my shoulder. The first couple of times, she straightens up and mouths a timid 'sorry' in my direction. The third one, she just stays there. After a while, the quiet rhythm of her breath tells me she's sleeping.

Her montral is puncturing my arm, so I slowly slide away until her head lays in my lap.

"They're boring, aren't they?" I whisper to unconscious her.

Anakin's comm rings. After peeking at it, he takes the call in the kitchen, followed by my gaze.

When I turn back to Quin, he's wrinkling his forehead.

"Him, Obi-Wan? Really?" He's whispering to avoid waking up Ahsoka and being heard by Anakin, so the entire conversation gets a conspiratorial tone. "This idea is so bad that it makes me question your intelligence. You must know it, these things never work."

I'm quite astonished, so he uses my silence to continue, talking quickly to end before Anakin returns. "I know you're not comfortable talking about it, and I couldn't care less. This isn't going to end well. You must stop it now."

I get closer, leaning forward as much as Ahsoka allows me. "You've been trying to get me to mate with every sentient I met since I was fifteen. I can't believe you're the one scolding me for this."

"What's so hard to understand? Anyone but him! I'm sure there's no need to give you reasons, the list is long. I'm serious. Don't."

I shrug. "I guess it's too late."

His mouth opens in disbelief. "Force. It's worst than I thought. We're not talking about sex, are we? You're entirely wasted."

He's raising his voice so I point my head toward Ahsoka and the kitchen as eloquently as I can.

He pretends he hasn't seen me and starts counting on his fingers. "First, he's your Padawan, a sure recipe for disaster. Trust me, this alone would be enough."

"He's not my Padawan anymore."

"Oh, come on, he still calls you Master. Once a Padawan, always a Padawan. Second, you're going to blame yourself for this till the end of your days, and you can't afford this. Third, you work together all the time. Fourth, he's wicked and fifth, he's not free and probably will never be. He's going to chew you up and spit you out."

Quin's face is so solemn it could be comical.

"You'll get hurt so badly you can't even envision," he hisses in my direction when the subject of our discussion comes back.

"Who's gonna get hurt?" Anakin asks when he's back. "Are you menacing my Master, Quinlan?"

His tone is light, with a subtle hint of challenge. I rub my temples, sensing the storm coming.

"I was warning him against bad decisions though I'm afraid he's a lost cause."

"Obi-Wan is stubborn, but he's usually considered on his choices. Even too considered. What has he done, this time?"

"He's throwing his life into a Sarlacc pit."

They glare at each other like two reekcats before a fight.

I try to catch their attention. "May I remind you I'm still here? I wonder what I've done to be such an appealing subject tonight. It would be flattening if you two wouldn't enjoy maltreating me so much."

"Being cruel to you may be absolutely irresistible," answers Anakin without moving his eyes from Quin.

I hope with all my heart that my friend will refrain from the 'hurt him, and I will hurt you' speech.

My wish is granted because he gets up and announces it's time to go.

"I'll call you if I find something new about our favourite Bounty Hunter." Then, scowling at Anakin. "Bring your Padawan home, Skywalker, she's tired."

I'm almost scared, I've rarely seen him like this. I wish him good night from the couch, and Anakin takes him to the door, throwing me a puzzled look.