Mud | Obikin

29.

"I'll take care of her. Just... slide away."

I gently shift the sleeping Padawan's head from his chest.
Anakin gives me a confused, circumspect look.

"I'm suggesting you go, laserbrain. You got it all, now try to keep it." I force myself to smile. "Let's just take what comes, right? We're good. Padme will probably be too if you drag that ass from my couch to 500 Republica. Don't make me believe I care about her more than you do."

He gets up and carefully studies my face until a smirk surfaces. "Sounds like the first step toward a threesome, to me."

I snort.
He leans down, hand brushing softly down the edge of my tunic, and kisses me in a way that makes me wonder why the kriff I'm letting him leave.

'Beware what you wish for,' I think, deliberately allowing him to sense it.

I wake up to caf and bacon smell. Last time this happened, I still had my Padawan braid.
In my kitchen, the morning is bright, the table is set, and a smoking tower of flat-cakes awaits.

"This is way better than the last breakfast I had and enormously better than all the ones I ate alone," I declare before taking the first sip from my mug.

Ashoka is pouring onto her dish enough frill syrup to drown. "If Anakin was responsible for yesterday one, you surely deserve compensation. This is the least I could do after falling asleep on your couch twice in a week."

"Whenever you want, young one. I like having you here. Home can feel empty."

This makes her mouth twist. She suggests that, probably, a new Padawan would have further perks than getting the old one mad.

Actually, she's not wrong; an apprentice would effectively keep Anakin at a distance, and my mind busy. Though our Bond already takes all the available space and I can't even imagine living with someone that isn't him.

"Don't tell Anakin," I finally reply. "But I'm not taking another. He has been enough for a lifetime."

And I've done enough damages already.

"We've been talking about you, yesterday..." For a moment, I'm unsure whether to continue but, as it often happens lately, it feels like there won't be any other chance. "I'm afraid your Master can't see you're not a youngling anymore. Probably, I'm not the right person either but, well... if ever there's something you'd rather address with me..."

Her fork freezes mid-air before she bursts out laughing. "I know, right? Anakin acts bold, but he hasn't even fully recovered from finding my pads. So, no, I'm not bringing the topic up with him..." Ahsoka takes a thoughtful bite, faintly reddening. "Honestly, 'there is no passion' is vague enough, and 'no attachment' doesn't necessarily imply chastity, does it?"

She gives me an awkward yet sly smile I can't help mirroring.
For once, the subject isn't making me uncomfortable; her merit, not mine.

"Your Master will give himself fits if he finds out I'm telling you this, but it actually is a matter of interpretation and personal choices. The Force wouldn't forbid natural impulses for the sake of it. What remains to see is if - and how - you can fit them within the Code."

"It sounds... complicated," comments Ahsoka, so mindfully I want to hug her.

"Indeed, it isn't easy, neither mandatory - this is why many Jedi just renounce. It mostly is about knowing yourself and your limits, being aware of how far you can go before stepping on shaky grounds. I like to think you're smart enough to deal with the 'no offsprings' part..." I quirk an eyebrow at her. She gives me a small, slightly cringing nod. "As for the 'no attachment' one, you can't decide once and for all; your conduct will have to adapt all through your life. 'No passion' might mean one should always be able to let go..."