The Boxer (editing)

Chapter Six

Chapter Six 

My hands met the keys that they know so well and played my favorite song of all time, "A Drop in the Ocean" by Ron Pope. I started the intro while shutting my eyes and just letting go.

I knew this song forwards, backwards, and upside down. I didn't know how to describe the way it made me feel. Almost like could be at peace. The muscle memory had taken over me, I didn't need to see the keys to know what I was doing.
I started to sing at full voice. This space was my own I could sing the way I wanted as loud as emotional as angry as I wanted. I could be who I wanted here. In the center of the ring, I was almost all of my truest self, the one who didn't have to hold back or hide any part of herself. In the Loft, I could be vulnerable.

"A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most. 'Cause you are my heaven."

I kept playing and as I took a breath ready to start the first verse when a different voice replaced mine. My eyes still shut and I keep playing, my anger because of Alex's betrayal built up but the voice was too soothing and pure. I hated it but wanted to keep listening. He had already found me, I had to give up a little didn't I?

The voice was deep, smooth, powerful, and soft at the same time. My heart clenched knowing the truth, hating it, but I was a musician, I couldn't just stop.

When the song finished my eyes popped open and I turned around to face all my instruments and the whole loft.
Charlie watched me with the same thoughtful expression that I held except his was free of the suspicion and distrust.
He was seated on a stool in the corner by the door. "Hey."

"You can't be here." I deflated while I stared down at my feet in their rainbow fuzzy socks, my whole exterior hardened in his presence I didn't want him to see any part of me that I didn't show to anyone else. "This is my place. Why are you here?"

"I want to talk to you, I want to be friends. Please can't we just talk?"

"Can't you tell I have no interest?" I jumped up defiantly. The heat in my gut from all the feelings running through my body charged up a new wave of defensiveness.

For the first time all week, he didn't seem phased by my attitude towards him. He didn't seem uncomfortable, offended or scared of me. He almost was challenging me back, I had yet to see him assertive before. This violation of privacy struck me harder than I thought it would. It wasn't fair, I do too much to protect myself but Alex just lets a practical stranger among on my secret, my life.

"Can't you just hear me out?" Charlie stepped to me and immediately a stood back. He froze when I obviously didn't want to be close to him, he drew a patient breath. "You can relax, I'm not going to hurt you or anything."

"I don't know you! Why would I give you a chance here! This is my place, not yours!" I threw a book at him which Charlie caught with one hand. Fuck him. "This isn't even a place I let Abby come, why would I let you come here, stranger?"

Charlie ran a hand down his face, irritated. "Can't you tell I'm trying to be your friend. I'm really not used to this kind of thing. I don't know what I can do to make you not hate all of me. Did I do something to you?"

"No," I ground my teeth as I admitted he had done nothing to even slight me in the least, "I just don't like you."

"Why? Tell me why, you owe me that at least. You've treated me like shit all week and I'm already good friends with your brother and your best friend. I don't know anyone here, give me a break." 

I stared at him, my dark eyes piercing his bright ones with ferocity and an unusual wall that I usually never faced. "You're too nice."

Charlie scoffed with exasperation that only told me his patience had run out. His arms raised as he ran his hands down his face and the toned muscles of his arms bulged with his tension. Hot. Yuck. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

This time when I looked at him, I saw him in a different light. This time, I saw him through who he was for the people I cared about. In this short five day window, Charlie and Alex have been inseparable, I had noticed the two of them texted often and even already have little secret jokes and other dumb boy shit. Alex had tons of friends, school friends, not home friends. Alex kept his social life very separate from our life at home, and I was most of his life, so Alex really didn't have a lot of close friends. If Alex deemed this man-child was worth sacrificing the two biggest secrets we both held in the world, then it means he trusted him big time. I owed Alex my life because he did everything for me, he didn't do a single thing for himself. If he wanted Charlie to be a part of our lives, I would make peace with it. For Alex.