So Fell the Angels - Supernatural Fanfic/Fanfiction (Castiel Fan Fiction)

Chapter 6: Until the End

Chapter 6: Until the End

Her body goes limp as she falls back from her knees, her butt connecting painfully with the hardwood floor.

"Pregnant?" she parrots, unable to say or think of anything else.

Still holding her jaw in his palm, Castiel slides from the chair, kneeling in front of her and in all likelihood, keeping her body from falling completely to the floor.

He only nods in answer.

"What…how…what happened?" She shakes her head, more determined now than ever to know everything. "I need to know it all, Cas."

This time, it's Castiel that falls backwards to land on his butt. As he heaves a weary sigh, he draws one knee to his chest, resting his hands on top of his knee as he focuses on his fiddling hands instead of her.

"Four years ago," he finally speaks, still not looking at her, "you showed up here in your brother's camp. I don't know what happened in the year that you were with Cort. You'd only say that you'd been hunting with him and waiting for something." He shifts a bit, obviously uncomfortable with telling the tale, or perhaps it's telling the tale to her.

"Things were awkward at first. Both between you and I, and between you and your brother. But eventually, you and I…rekindled. Neither of you would ever say, but there was always some kind of rift between you and Dean. I didn't ask, but I gathered that was why you didn't want him or anyone else to know about us. It didn't matter to me. We were friendly in front of others, but at night, I had you to myself. And I felt different with you. Special…worthy…like I really was the man you saw when you looked at me. Someone special. Someone important.

"Even though I'd lost my powers, you and I seemed to make a good team, so Dean often sent us out to scout. Look for Crotes. Look for survivors. Look for supplies. And things went on like that for nearly two years." Finally looking up, he meets her eyes, his gaze almost…hesitant. "We were…we were…happy…I think that's the word…the emotion. I don't know that I'd ever experienced it before…but I think we were happy. At least I think as happy as anyone can be in such desolate times."

He begins to more nervously fidget with his hands as he glances away once more. "And then it happened. One day, you told me you were pregnant. We'd been careful, but you said it could still happen, despite precautions. I've seen enough human interaction to understand that in the situation, I was supposed to 'do right by you' and 'make you an honest woman'…though I'd always found you to be sufficiently honest with me. I knew you at times kept things from me, but I think it was mostly for my benefit—"

"Cas," she interrupts with a laugh at his confusion of the old phrase. "Never mind, just…go on."

Nodding, he launches back in, still staring at his hands, as though he might lose his nerve if he looks up at her while he speaks. "When you agreed to marry me…that was when I knew I felt happiness. Real happiness. We planned to tell your brother and everyone else as soon as your pregnancy became too apparent to hide."

He stops again, his hands still now, but still staring at them. "I never thought I would create a life. That was something for my Father alone to know. But there was such a miracle in that feeling, knowing I had created a life—that we had created a life."

Suddenly, he makes a hurried and angry hand gesture. "I wish we never had," he harshly whispers.

"What?" she questions, leaning back in a startled motion at his sudden change in demeanor.

This time when he looks up, he pins her with a hard stare, and something in the way he locks his eyes onto hers tells her that he's trying to enforce the gravity of what he's about to say.