Deep Secrets

Pathetic

Shizuo lifted Izaya from the tub and ran to Shinra's. His mind swarming with questions and his heart racing. He couldn't feel Izaya's but knew it was there. He listened to the faint heart beat. Was this his first attempt? What goes on in the fleas mind? He banged on the door out of breath. Shinra knowing who it was swung opens the door with a scared look over his face.

"Shizuo what the hell?! Hurry get him inside." Shinra yelled pulling Shizuo inside.

" I don't know what happened. I found him like this. He was asleep in the bathroom." Shizuo sighed laying him down on the operation table.

Shinra looked at the blood loss in both arms. Then began stitching up the wounds and fixing up any other damage. Izaya's skin was as pale as the snow. He had dark circles under his eyes they looked like bruises and his lips a light shade of blue. Shinra put a breathing mask over Izaya's face to help airflow into his system. Shizuo looked down at Izaya now seeing clearly what a mess he was. His hands cold as ice and his hair messy. He already looked dead. Shizuo put a hand on Izaya's chest to feel the soft thump of Izaya's heart. It was weak and hard to navigate.

"I have done all I can do. Let's just hope he wakes up in the next couple of hours. If not we will be forced to take him to a actual hospital." Shinra sighed wiping sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

Shizuo only nodded as they moved Izaya to the guest room. He lay in the big bed. Many pillows and blankets surrounded him for warmth. Shizuo sat in a chair beside the bed looking over Izaya with many questions.

"I'm not so sure if you can hear me or not.... But, why? Why do this Izaya? Your smart, skilled in your field. Why fall so hard? Was it that girl? Are you hiding more than your telling? Or are you that lonely?" Shizuo rested his head tiredly in one hand staring at Izaya's broken form in the white bed.

Shizuo sighed shaking his head. He wasn't sure how to feel. It would have been so easy to just have left him there. But it felt so wrong. All of it. Izaya wasn't supposed to die. Not like this. Shizuo flinched when his phone rang. Picking it up. He herd Toms voice on the other end.

"Damnit... Sorry I ah... Got caught up in something important." Shizuo said.

"Well knowing you it must be really important. Mind telling me what that is exactly?" Tom asked.

"It's Izaya...." Shizuo said in a half irritated tone.

"Oh?! Why on earth are you hanging out with Orihara Izaya?" Tom asked again.

"I'm afraid that's a long story. But to put it short. He isn't even Izaya anymore. And for some reason I give a shit about it." Shizuo sighed into the phone.

"Well if you need some time off I can understand." Tom said politely

"No. It's alright. I left him in good hands. I'll be there in... Hmm 10 minutes?" Shizuo stated.

"Well alright I'll see you in a bit then." Tom said then hung up the phone.

"Ug... Stupid..." He looked back at Izaya's sleeping form. "Hey don't do anything else till I get back. I'm dumping your ass on Shinra for the next few hours." Shizuo said standing over Izaya.

Then his scowl softened. He sighed and rested a hand on Izaya's head. His hair was soft but needed to be washed. His skin felt cold like ice. Fog rose in the mask every breath he took. Shizuo shook his head and pulled up the blankets to Izaya's chest showing his shoulders. Then he walked out of the room quietly to talk to Shinra. Shinra sat at the table with a cup of coffee deep in thought. He heard Shizuo's conversation and just smiled waving him off and out the door. That day was quiet. Shinra checked in almost every 20 minutes. Pacing back in forth constantly. Shizuo walked along the streets with Tom.  They were fairly quiet till tom broke the long silence.

"So.... Izaya finally snapped huh? How is he?" Tom asked.

"Horrible. He looks like hell ran over him then went reverse and hit him again. Last night.... He tried to kill himself ." Shizuo sighed lighting a cigarette.

"What?! That far! Strange. I wonder what triggered all of this. " Tom question not able to wrap his head around the situation.

"I'm not sure. But he is nothing but a pale skeleton now. You wouldn't recognize him." Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure if I should be mad or really upset. I kinda feel both. Honestly looking at him makes me mad. But seeing him like this. Makes me feel like I have to do something about it." Shizuo vented.

"But you hate him? I would think you would take this chance to finally kill him." Tom said.

"I can't... I can't do it. Maybe I snapped in a strange way as well." Shizuo chuckled.

The two walked together till Shizuo's shift was over. He went right back to Shinra's. Shizuo walked into the guest room again to be greeted with the same Izaya he left a few hours ago. He sat back down in the chair and looked over the freshly bandaged arms. He frowned looking upset. Then rested a hand on Izaya's head to feel some warmth had come back. He herd a low groan. Then Izaya moved his head out of Shizuo's grip trying to wake up.

"S....shi...Shizu-C...chan..." Izaya said tiredly opening the lifeless eyes to look over at Shizuo tiredly.

"Hey... Good to see you woke up." Shizuo said grinning slightly.

"Mmmm w...why?" Izaya asked closing his eyes again.

"Hey! Don't go back to sleep. Stay awake. And why? Well I don't know." Shizuo said.

"No...no one wants me. I'm alone." Izaya said quietly.

"Your a bunch of trouble is what you are!" Shizuo sighed and resting a strong big hand on Izaya's shoulder. "But... Even tho you do stupid stuff. I still care about you." The words came out before he could think.

Izaya felt to weak to get up. He wanted to run. Hide away from everything. The hand was warm, Shizuo's hand. He didn't feel so cold. It was welcoming. He wanted to hold it. Izaya lifted his smaller hand and touched Shizuo's looking back up at the ceiling. Before he could think he felt warm lips on his head. His heart pounded and he fought to keep his eyes open.

"W...why?" Izaya asked his eyes half open.

"Because... I care." Shizuo said sitting back down.