Help Me Find My Wings (Destiel)

Chapter 2

Preparing their date wasn't too difficult after all. Cas knew that Dean didn't want anything fancy, that pie and burgers would do. The only thing he had to do besides cooking was laying out some blankets, pillows and somehow get the newest season of Doctor Sexy M.D., which was Dean's favourite show at the moment and they hadn't watched the new season yet. It wasn't the most perfect date but for them it was all they could ever dream off.

And while Cas was doing that, Sam and Dean had went outside. As Sam offered Dean to chose what they would do, he expected something like going to the woods or something separated, nothing where many people would be. So it had surprised him even more when Dean suggested going to the town and just walk around, maybe buy some stuff. Why should his usually so antisocial brother want to go somewhere where many people were? Somewhere where the possibility of somebody touching him was so high?

He agreed though, knowing that there had to be a reason why Dean acted that way, and the whole way to town he was eyeing his older brother suspiciously. Dean was quite calm, looked around curiously and even joked around. It was something so out of character, something that just didn't fit into Dean's personality.

After Dean made a joke about a couple practically making out, Sam couldn't take it any more and he looked at Dean with wide eyes and grabbed his arm, dragging him into the next alley. "The hell, Dean?! What happened to you?! You're acting so damn weird and you're kind of social right now and you didn't even care when that weird guy stumbled into you! What happened to the guy that couldn't stand being looked at, let alone being touched?! By now you would've been a shaking mess but you're acting like this is just normal! I know you're trying to hide something from us, you may can keep it from Cas, even though he has noticed that you are acting oddly, but you definitely can't keep it from me! Dean, I've known you for all my life, I know when you're keeping something from me and I know when you're lying!"

Dean stood in that alley, trying his best to breathe slowly and steadily, gave his best not to give in and panic. He should have known that Sam would notice that he had been acting out of character. But there still was something that held him back from telling Sam the whole story. The younger Winchester would just laugh it off, would just tell him that it would be alright and he shouldn't worry too much. He would probably laugh at Sam if he were to tell him that he had had a dream about their father torturing and killing him. It was just ridiculous.

"I'm fine, Sam, I promise. I just wanted to go out for once and try and be normal. I guess it's not as bad as I always thought. And I just wanted to see something new? I mean, I love the forest but it gets pretty boring to always go there, day after day."

Sam couldn't believe his ears. This was the one thing Dean would never say, no matter what had happened. Dean adored the forest, always retreated to it to think. Cas and him went there for walks, for picnics, for just being together. Something must have happened for Dean to avoid going to the woods, something horrible. He just wished he knew what had happened because then he would be able to help properly but he knew his brother and he knew getting out the problem was an impossible task. Dean was just too stubborn to admit that something was wrong, even when he had gotten better at that after his therapy.

Dean knew that Sam didn't quite believe him and just sighed, letting his shoulders drop and look at him with pleading eyes. "You're right, okay? Something has happened but I'd rather not talk about it. And.. I want to buy something for Cas. He does all these amazing and cute things and I can't give him anything back because I'm just awkward and I can't manage to give him a normal relationship, the one he would deserve. I just want him to know that he means everything to me and that I would even face my worst nightmare like going to crowded places for him," he said quietly and bit his lip, hoping that Sam would believe him.