(Please play the song on top it will intensify the chapter)
What have i become. Is this what im resorting to. Killing myself .
I dont want to die. Its just too painful to live.
I never thought i would do it.
I never thought i'd be one of those people.
The one's that give up without a fight. But i dont think i can put up a fight. I dont think i can face the world with my head held high and brave eyes.
I want to ....but i cant.................
........i just cant....... .
Rozzalynns p.o.v
Its been almost ten minutes. I dont know when the medicine is gonna kick in but i dont want to know. I want death to take me fast and painless. Then i wont have to fuck up everything.
I heard a knock at the bathroom door. Jeremy.
"Rozz you ok, you've been in their a while " he says from the other side of the door, i can tell he's worried by the sound of his voice.
" umm .....yeah, im fine " i say while sniffling.
I started to feel a tad light headed.
" I know something happened at school , come on you an talk to me" he says.
" please just go away !" I yell while sobbing. Their was a long pause .
" thats it , im coming in " he says.
And before i could react the door flies open.
I look up to see jeremy staring at me with wide eys and a pained expression.
He then looked at the floor and gasped. Shit , i left the empty pill bottle on the floor.
He then rushed over to me.
"Why" he said with tears in his eyes.
And before i could answer my vision started to blur and my eyes started to droop.
Jeremy started to panic.
"No , no , NO!" he yelled.
He started slapping my face.
" stay awake , goddamnit!" He said. He then dragged me into the bath tub and turned on the cold water (sorry i "borrowed"this scene from anerican horror story just to perfect this chapter) As the freezing water showered on us jeremy pushed two of his fingers down my throat until i started to cough up the pills.
Once i finished coughing up the pills i started to cry. Jeremy shut off the water and let me sob into his chest . Both of us were soaked in water. He got up and carried me out of the bath tub and gave me a warm towel to dry off.
He then got one of his nirvana T-shirts and a pair of gym shorts and handed them to me.
" here , put these one " he said in a soft voice. I looked at him with sorry eyes tears still streaming down my face.
He reached out and wiped them away with his thumb. He motioned for me to go change. I went back into the bathroom and changed into the clothes he gave me.
Once i was done i walked out of the bathroom and into jeremys room. He looked at me and said
"You loom tired , you can take a nap in my bed if you want "
" thanks " i said in a whisper.
I laid down on his bed as he wrapped me up in warm blankets. " why would you do this " he asked while stroking my hair .
"I cant take it anymore , everyday im judged and made fun of , the world would be better without me in it " i replied.
" rozz , can't you see that you make this world better , the world needs you , i need you"
He said with a shaky voice , you could tell he was in the verge of crying.
" Promise me you wont ever do that again rozz " he said
" i promise " i said . Oh god i hope thats true.
Their was a long pause .
" jeremy "
"Hmm" he replied .
"What do you wanna be when you grow up ?" I asked him
" a music teacher , im 16 and im already a senior so ill graduate early , i wanna go to a local college so i dont have to leave home and i wanna get my teaching degree" he said hopeful
"Really ?" I asked
"Yeah , then i wanna move to Oakland california , i heard its nice there and the schools pay well " he said
" you want to leave Hollywood?" i asked
" its expensive to live in LA rozz,
But dont worry , i wouldn't leave you , i promise you when i move to Oakland im taking you with me and we can live together, Billie joe armstrong lives there , we could meet him one day , hey
Who knows i might even be your teacher . " he says with a grin
" jeremy ? " i ask
"Yeah" he replied
" promise me you'll always be there " i say
" forever , you and me against the world " he whispered in my ear with a sweet loving voice .
"I love you big brother " i mumbled
And the last words i heard before falling asleep were
I love you to little sis
( hey its me , i hope you enjoyed this emotional and eventful chapter , if you have any questions or suggestions just leave a comment)
(Rage and love xx
Micheal jackson)
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Falling From The Stars
FanfictionRozzalynn Hall grew up in an abusive household , she never knew her real dad ,her mother was the best mom ever until she was five years old when her mother started dating jesse , her mom was never the same again , when she was seven years old her mo...
