Always the Bride

7. Jamie Finnegan

As I continue driving, a content smile stuck on my face, I start thinking about the downside of being married many times. After all, I need to consider the pros and cons, right? I’m not saying this won’t work. I just need to make sure I’ve got everything covered rather than jumping in blind folded.

First and foremost is the issue of having multiple husbands. It’ll be tough spending time with all of them. That’s something I need to plan out very well. There will only be a certain amount of husbands I can have at once. If I want to make this work, I’m going to have to ‘divorce’ some so I can make way for others.

During the so-called divorce process, and I suppose at all times when I’m finding alternative husbands, there will be a long lull with no gifts. I’m going to have to control my withdrawals. Stealing a gift every now and then isn’t so bad but doing it all the time is a no-no. Once again, it’s all down to planning, right?

Okay so that’ the first downside. The second one is the issue of making sure I look different. I can’t let myself be identified by anyone. That’s my next plan, finding someone who can give me a new look and new identity. Once again, some careful planning will answer that.

Then finally, the issue that bothers me most is the issue of whether I become attached to one of them. What if one husband is better than all of them and I decide I want to be with him forever?

The answer comes to me fairly quickly. It’s simple really, I won’t become attached. Easy.

On the way home, I drive past my apartment and drop the gift off. How would I explain that to Gregory? Even though I no longer live in it, it’s a handy place for storage. After our wedding, I stored all the wedding gifts here. Gregory didn’t care what I did with them so he took no notice when I stored them away. I take items as I need them but considering Gregory has pretty much everything, these are for emergencies.

Surely you have to see my logic in having multiples of one thing, right? Emergencies happen all the time. The more I have, the better prepared I am.

Turning on to my street, my happy thoughts disappear. The guilt I managed to keep at bay bubbles up inside of me again. Gregory doesn’t deserve this.

Dismissing all thoughts, I pull into the driveway, cut off the engine and step out of the car. Soon enough I will be so busy I won’t be able to think about my guilt. I will be surrounded by wedding gifts and in my element.

The next morning I’m in work über early. Unfortunately Gregory’s snoring has not improved in six months. If anything it has worsened. I rarely sleep the whole night through and I always wake early, hence my early mornings at work.

It’s seven o’clock and I’ve already set up the reception desk with everything I need for the day. Now I’m enjoying my double shot latte while surfing the web. The lawyers won’t be in until eight and I have nothing better to do.

Okay I confess, I’ve decided to make up a new gift registry in preparation for my next marriage. Yes I know mum did one for me when I first married but I can’t really ask her for it, can I? She and my sister are not privy to my new lifestyle. They think my life with Gregory is all sunshine and butterflies. So, after making a list of all the gifts we received, it only made sense to make up my own. It means when the time comes, I only need to send it out.

When I marry, I don’t want to do the whole wedding thing again. No way. In fact, my plan is to suggest a registry wedding and a reception at a restaurant of our choice. Everyone can bring their gifts and we’ll take them home. I can take them to my apartment for safe keeping when my ‘husband’ is at work. Flawless!