Always the Bride

13. Julian

Hi guys, apologies for the delay. I was on holidays and got sidetracked. Okay, okay, I'm totally blaming minecraft. Anyway, I hope this  makes up for lost time. Enjoy!

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I’ve come to realise something. Spending the night alone in my apartment is a very bad idea. Then again, where else could I go? Turn up at Mum’s and say ‘hi I’ve left Gregory and I’m going to marry a complete stranger tomorrow’. Yeah…not such a great idea.

So my apartment was the only option. I used love my independence, but that was before Gregory. I’ve learnt to enjoy companionship and it feels strange not having it anymore. As a result I couldn’t sleep at all last night. The whole night was spent staring up at the ceiling thinking of things I shouldn’t think of. Things like ‘what the hell am I doing’ and ‘did I do the right thing in leaving Gregory’?

Now it’s morning and the same questions are still running around my head. I’ve managed to avoid answering the questions but I know it won’t last for long. That only means one thing. I need to get out of bed and face the day.

As my feet touch the carpeted floor, realisation hits me. I’m marrying Russell today. A wave of nausea washes over me at the thought and chunks of vomit begin to make their way up my oesophagus. The bathroom looks miles away but I jump up and dash for it like the road runner. I make it just in time to spew up last night’s ciabatta. After a couple of moments of heaving up every last morsel, I collapse to the floor breathing heavily.

My body is shaking and I feel clammy all over. I hate vomiting but I hate the after effects even more. Thinking about this afternoon is going to result in the same visit to the bathroom so I need to stop thinking about it. For now at least. The best thing to do will be to get some fresh air. Once my mind is clear I will feel better about things and then I will try thinking about it.

Once the after effects are gone I stand up and go back to my room to change. A few moments later I walk out of my apartment with a one track mind. There is a park just down the road where I used to visit all the time when I lived alone. It’s very tranquil and a great place to forget about life for a while. It’s just what I need today.

It’s a sunny but not overly warm day with a very slight, cool breeze. Like the day I married Gregory, it’s a perfect day. How ironic. It’s another perfect day and it just so happens to be the day I’m marrying someone else. God that’s so depressing. If I ever get myself sorted and I end up marrying my soul mate, I bet you anything it will not be a perfect day like this. Sod’s law and all that.

Sighing loudly, I shake my head to rid those thoughts from my mind. This is not what I need right now. I’ve come out to forget about my worries, not continue thinking about them.

Taking a deep breath, I speed up my pace and push all worries out of my mind. When I reach the park, a smile plays at my lips. God I’ve missed coming here.

An iron fence surrounds it with an iron gate on either side. These are locked every night to stop vandalism. I walk through the gates and follow the cobblestone path to the manmade pond in the middle. The path continues past the pond and out the gates on the other side. Trees line the left and right so there are only two entry points.

Noticing a free bench next to the pond, I make a beeline for it and sit down before anyone else can beat me to it. I look around and smile. It’s probably the smallest park in history as it takes less than a minute to walk through it but it’s so picturesque. No matter the time of the year, the grass is always green and the trees, shrubbery and flowers always seem to be in bloom. Next to the gate at the other end is a sandpit, a little swing set and a seesaw.