Fierce Love

Chapter 26: Lilly

It's been a month since Nate slipped into that Godforsaken coma; and the guilt has been eating me alive. I have two fights today and I haven't managed to eat anything.

It's not like I didn't, the food's just tasteless. Everything is meaningless without Nate.

Nate.

"I think that you're cheating on me. With every single one of your sluts of maids. They say once a player, always a player." How could I say something like that to him, how could I be so selfish.

I still can't get how heartbroken and shattered he was when I attacked him like that.

I picked myself from the bathroom floor and stared at what remained of the bathroom mirror. My reflection couldn't be me. That girl was shattered, she had blue bruises covering her face and she couldn't even open her right eye. "The girl I once was, the girl I swore I'd never be again." I muttered.

"Lilly, come on! You'll be late for your next fight!" Ryan boomed as he knocked on the door, "You've been there for almost an hour."

I unlocked the door and pushed Ryan aside as I made my way to the shitty bed we were in, after all, a shitty motel.

"For Heaven's sake Lils what are you doing to yourself?" Ryan mumbled softly as he crouched in front of me, taking a hold of my bruised and bleeding knuckles, "are you puni-"

"Don't call me that!" I cut off murderously, " don't ever call me that!" I pushed Ryan away and pulled my jacket to put it on to cover my bruises but Ryan grasped my arm making me hiss in pain.

"Is it because he used to call you that? You know Lilly, it's not your fault, nothing is. Not your dad, your mom, not even Nate; so, I'm begging you stop pushing yourself too hard, stop punishing yourself, stop blaming yourself" Ryan said passionately, trying to coax me and calm me down from my frenzy, but my demons were way stronger.

I ripped my arm from his hand, "You asshole! You don't now half of what I'm going through!" and with that I did what I do best: I ran..

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Obviously, I didn't have a car so, I had to walk back to Nate's hospital which wasn't that far but it was darker than usual or maybe that's just me being me.

As I was walking, the stars caught my attention they were twinkling so bright. Just before my dad died he told me that whenever I needed him I just had to look up and he'll be there, listening to me.

"Dad.." I croaked, tears slipping from my unbruised eye, "I made a very big mistake and I don't know how to fix it. I'm just so tired dad, so tired of everything. Even Ashton isn't here dad, you made him promise to take care of me but he broke that promise." I rushed out,trying to relief myself of those weights that I've been carrying for years.

I was just walking and staring upwards and didn't accidentally rushed into someone, which happened to be two guys smoking on the side walk no big deal, I really didn't care but apparently, they did.

"Hey sweetheart, why the long face?" One of them tried to touch my face, but I really wasn't in the mood I was battered and bruised and tears stained my face, can't a girl catch a break!

"Okay guys, can you just not. I'm really not in the mood to kick anyone's ass right now so, if you just let me pass." I said sternly as Asshole number 2 blocked my way and the other one circled around me.

"Kick our asses, obviously you haven't been looking in the mirror lately sweetheart cause someone messed up your face big time." Asshole 2 smirked, just as my fist collided with his face and he decided to greet the ground.