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//ALONE AND UNKNOWN-CHAPTER 4//

The next day wasn't particularly eventful, and school passed like usual.

But one thing changed: my mindset.

I've been paying attention to how I react to things like sex, kissing, even relationships.

I still have my boy toys, I'm just trying to figure out why.

-

My eyes trail from the long brunette hair, down the lean back, and rest on the ass, amazed by it.

Wait? Asses? Since when have I liked those? Can I be asexual and still have an attraction towards asses? And can I be asexual and still be romantically pulled towards both genders?

I've always known that I was bisexual, but I've never told anyone, being more comfortable with it since it's more well known, and being more comfortable with having boys hanging around me. Because, y'know, people judge. Hard.

I'll have to look into that later.

On the other hand, I've been thinking, and I think it would be a good idea to tell people I am asexual.

But only some of my closest friends and my family.

The only thing that is holding me back is the worry that they might not think I'm being serious.

I don't have the best reputation when it comes to sex.

And if I tell Toby, Max and Clarissa, I'll have to tell my sister too, and then eventually my parents and then...

Ugh, it just hurts my brain to think about it. How many times will I have to go through this? And am I ready for it?

-

"Hey, Clarissa, can you come over for a few minutes right now?"

"Yeah, sure, as long as there are no parent fights happening."

I can almost see the look on her face when she says that. Good thing they're away for the afternoon, because I need to tell her this right now.

"No, don't worry, they aren't home at the moment"

"Why are you being so formal, Lie-Lie?" she asks calling me by my nickname.

"It's-it's nothing, Liss , I'm uh, just really excited for you to come over." I say stuttering a little because I'm so nervous.

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving now I'll see you soon Lie." she says in an amused tone.

"Bye."

And I hang up even more petrified then when I started.