Blue Eyes.

Chapter 63

Troye

Boy I would love to wake up next to him. Every morning. Every night cuddle with him. But I get it. He doesn't want to leave his other family behind Zoe and Alfie. They have been their longer in his life. I will just have to keep visiting and same with him. We have to get used to not living with each other for a while.

"Tro." Connor says to me. He notices o am not focused. We were kissing but I wasn't trying.

"Yeah?" I ask knowing what he is going to say. He pulls his face away from mine. Cradling my lap.

What's wrong?" He asks me.

"Nothing I'm fine." I say lying. I don't want him to make a choice to stay here or come with me I already know what he is going to pick. He always wants to make me happy first.

"Baby something is wrong." Connor says brushing his thumb up on my cheek.

"No honestly." He says to me.

"Troye I have known you for 3 months now. I know when your lying." Connor says and I sigh.

"That's the problem." I say and look away.

"A problem?" Connor asks looking hurt.

"Not like that! No, no, I love you so much, but I mean. I am scared I am going to pressure you into things. I don't want that. I am so scared of that. I am going to chase you away." I say. I will chase him away, he will leave me.

"Hey look at me." I say and look at him.

"You will never ever chase me away. You don't pressure me into things. You will neve hurt me." He says and kisses me gently.

"That's not what I mean." I say and he looks at me.

"Then what do you mean?" Connor asks me.

"I mean when I leave. You feel like you should make me happy and come with me. But if that doesn't make you happy then you shouldn't do it." I say and sigh.

"Hey I am not pressured into doing anything. Of course I will want to make you happy. Everyday. But I won't do anything that will make me unhappy. Okay?" He says to me. Putting his hands on my chest.

"You never pressure me." Connor says leaning down a little more. To be face to face with me.

"You promise to tell me when I go to far?" I ask and look into his green beautiful eyes.

"I promise with all my heart." Connor says and kisses my nose.

"Okay." I say and he lays his body competly down. We are dressed unfortunately. Sure I might be ready but not him. And I woke pressure him into it. It's called trust.

"Maybe we are just kids in love oh baby." Connor says to me looking up to see my eyes. I rub his back like Zoe says. He loves that.

"Maybe we are." I say and smile. Like I said before. We are kids in love. It gets stronger everytime. Everytime we touch. It's a spark. Everytime we kiss it's like a firework. Everytime we kiss each others neck it's like an explosion of fireworks. It's nice to finally have someone their.

"I think we are " Connor says to me and kisses my bottom lop a little. He bites it. He always makes me smile. Every little thing he does. It makes me happy. And to be honest turns me on a lot. Of course he is my boyfriend he is supposed to do that.

"You always make me feel so loved." I say to him.

"Well its kinda my job." Connor says and kisses my lips lightly again. We are quiet for a while. He lays his head on my chest while I rub his back.

"Tro?" He asks not looking up.

"Mhhm?" I mumble.

"I think I should do a coming out video." Connor says and I breath in and open my eyes.

"Are you ready for it?" I ask him playing with his hair.

"I think so." He says to me and sighs.

"Well I want them to know about us to. But I know your not ready so its okay that can wait." Connor says and looks up again.

"No I think I am ready to." I say and I have been thinking about it. Coming out on youtube might as well do it.

"You sure?"Connor asks me and I nod yes get it over and done with.

"Okay I will set the stuff up and do my hair." He says and walks out if the room to grab his camera and do his hair. He hands me the camera. Then fixes his hair. I set it up. On the Tripod. Then set the lights up, get my phone and look at everything. Everything is set up. I sit on his bed. They will notice that it's his room. I don't care. I am ready.

"You ready?" I ask him and he nods. He sits beside me. Then looks at everything.

"Who first?" Connor asks looking at the camera right straight on.

"I can if you want." Connor says and I nod and then look at him kiss his lips. I am right their for him. He breaths then turns his camera on. His intro.

"Guys I have been hiding something from you guys for a while. I always wanted to tell you I just didn't know how. I have been lying to you guys. So I am going to be completely honest no editing or anything. Just me sitting here talking to you guys. Ugh okay. So guys this is big and I don't care what anyone says. I am going to do it. Guys I'm gay." Connor says and looks at me. Pretending he's not.

"There we go. I am gay. And I have been hiding it from you. Say what you want but I needed to say it. But I have been for about 2 years or so I dont know. It took a while for me to accept myself. But now I am. Go ahead in the comments post whatever you want to. But other than that guys. I also need to tell you something I finally accepted I'm gay. Someone else has as well. Guys what I am trying to say is yes I have a boyfriend and before anyone freaks out I want to let you know he makes me the happiest man on the earth he is always there for me. Well I will let you guys know in the next video. But for that and thanks for watching, and I will see you guys later." Connor says and slowly puts his hand to the camera and stops it. He sits back on his bed.

"Troye this is where you come in." Connor says and I nod. I smile and then stand next to the camera. Waiting for my time to come on. He does his intro. Then he smiles.

"Well guys you know I am gay. And I am dating someone. That someone is." He says and that's when I come in.

"It's me." I say to the camera.

"That's right guys, it's Troye Sivan." Connor says and smiles at me.

"So well this is a short little video. For you guys to know who I am dating. I love you guys so much. Thanks for all your support and love. Go subscribe to Troye and see you guys later." Connor says and then walks towards the camera. Then turns it off. I stand up next to him. He stands there holding the camera. I go up behind him and hug him.

"You did so good." I say and kiss his cheek.

"What if they hate me?" Connor says and I sigh.

"They won't baby." I say to him and bring him to the bed. We lay there holding each other. Smiling at each other. I am gathering more confidence everytime I breath and touch Connor. He did it and now it's my turn.