Only You {h.s}

Chapter Thirty

My eyes flutter open to see Harry staring down at me. I jolt slightly, not expecting him to be sitting right next to me. His eyes are lined with red and swollen, like he's been crying. Why the hell would he be crying?

His tearful gaze shifts to relief when our eyes lock.

"You're awake," he smiles, then sniffles and wipes his eyes.

"Yeah," I try to say, but my dry throat stops any noise from coming out.

Harry reaches over to my nightstand and hands me a glass of water. I give him an appreciative smile and take it from him. I sit up and am hit with an intense headache. He notices me wincing and hands me two pills as well. I gulp them down with the water.

My arms are so sore. I look down and see them completely wrapped in bandages.

"Wha-"

"You cut yourself," he says, his voice distant.

"I what?" I ask shakily.

Harry clears his throat and blinks away a few tears.

"Do you not remember?"

"No, I mean the last thing I remember is..." I trail off.

My eyes go wide and immediately fill with tears. The lump in my throat prevents me from speaking anymore.

The voicemail. Mr. Carter. It's all coming back to me now. I bring my hand up to cover my mouth, feeling nauseous.

"Please, Meredith. You have to let me in," his voice breaks as he speaks.

"I-I," I stutter, not even knowing what to say.

I want to tell him. I have to tell him. I just can't get the words out. Hot tears crawl slowly down my cheeks and there's nothing I can do to stop them.

"Please," he begs. "Do you have any idea what it was like to find you here, drunk with blood running down your arms? It's like – it's like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Please, please just talk to me."

Tears are running down his face as well. Sometimes I underestimate how much he cares about me. But I can see it in his eyes. I know I have to open up. I don't have a choice anymore.

"I lied to you, okay?" I blurt out.

Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion. I take a deep breath and start again.

"I lied to you when I said I'd never been touched," I say quieter.

"What do you mean?"

"There was this teacher..."

"Mr. Carter?" he interrupts.

"How do you –"

"You um, thought I was him when you were drunk," he says wearily. I put my head in my hands and groan.

"Keep going, baby," he says softly. I take a deep breath.

"When I was a freshman, Mr. Carter was my English teacher," I swallow dryly. "I'm sorry, this is really hard for me," I say quietly, trying not to break out into sobs.

Harry moves me to his lap and I curl into his chest. I love it when he holds me like this. He runs his hand soothingly through my hair, telling me to take my time. I close my eyes and let the sound of his beating heart calm me down.

"He was new and all the girls had a crush on him. I-I did too. He started to pay attention to me. Like tutoring me and making me stay after class. I never thought anything of it. God, I was so naïve," I shake my head. "But looking back, it wasn't normal. He would tell me how pretty I was a-and ask me really personal things."