Reforming Society •• OneRepublic {2}

The Mind's a Menace

Ramona's P.O.V.

It had only been a few minutes after Ryan left when Ramona had formidable thoughts of what haunted her more often than she'd like, the thoughts that occupied her mind almost every night. This had only started recently, about two or three weeks ago. She'd been feeling down, and recognized the mood as a warning of early depression, but ignored it.

Why did she ignore it? She thought being with Ryan would be enough to draw her away from it. She thought his warmth and beauty, coating him inside and out, would keep her from falling down the woeful hole she'd been trapped in most of her life. God, was she wrong!

Ramona was itching to dye her hair again because of it, but also couldn't get herself out of the house. She hadn't remembered the last time she went further than the driveway. Three weeks ago?

She should've taken Ryan's advice and gone dress shopping with the girls the last weekend. She was long due to get her first dress fitting scheduled, as well as make sure the girls had their dresses. Lynn had picked one and was waiting for Ramona's approval, but Addie was lazy with such things and Johana certainly wouldn't go without Ramona forcing her. But she'd instead stayed inside and for some reason, with each day that passed, Ramona's body hated the outside. Another warning sign of early depression.

Ramona had been through it enough to know, that was the truly sad part of the situation. She knew the warning signs and she was fairly sure she knew how to prevent it, but kept it inside. Ryan had no clue, as far as she was concerned, that she was falling into darkness again. But she still held a hope that she wouldn't feel that way as she'd done so many times before, in her mere twenty-three years of living.

But what of the formidable thoughts that took hold of her too often? They were of so many things, the reasons she dyed her hair, the reasons she'd been desperate to actually run every once in a while. For nearly a whole year she'd been safe from them, but the ghosts of her past crawled up from Hell to haunt her again. Perhaps it bothered them to sleep too long without killing her? Her mother and father still tried to reach her, and ever since last May when he was sent behind bars, Shawn Murphy had joined them.

Yet Ramona still held hope that their cold, abusive hands wouldn't reach her. She was now in Ryan's arms and because of that, there was nothing to fear.

It had only been twenty minutes after Ryan left when Ramona had to answer some boisterous knocks at the front door. She had a feeling she knew exactly who it was, and it turned out she was right. There stood Lynn, Addie, and Johana. Lynn had been the one who knocked, of course, smiling bright. As soon as Ramona opened the door, she was the one to attack Ramona by hugging her tight. Ramona groaned when her ribs were crushed.

"Where have you been??" She cried out. Ramona did her best to wriggle from her grip, "Sorry, I was going on a dangerous expedition in Andes Mountains."

Lynn pulled away and gave her sarcasm a serious look, then as the other two stepped in, Addie said for her, "You haven't been answering our texts all day."

"I've been busy down here," Ramona motioned to the guitar on the couch, "My phone is upstairs."

"Well, by Ryan's request, we're going to look at bridesmaid dresses, and as the bride, you're coming with us." Addie casually replied. Ramona raised an eyebrow, surprised he'd done anything.

"When did he tell you that?"

"He texted me yesterday, when he noticed that you hadn't taken the initiative to talk to us about it. He knows you've been worrying about your dress fitting."

"Which I was supposed to do months ago." Ramona added, turning to go upstairs to get clothes on. The others followed, as she heard.

"Well, now's the time then," Johana butt in as they walked down the hall, "Besides, Addie and I need to pick out our dresses."