Hero Of War (a Joshler fanfic)

Chapter 9: I shot a mother right in front of her son

Really short chapter of 1835 words but I wanted to update since I just wrote a bit more and I have a busy day (driving, getting the new HP book, dinner, suicide squad premiere), so I'm sorry, but it's something, right?

Putting a trigger warning on this chapter for mentioning blood and murder

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Josh was sitting on the ground in front of the closet.

He had his gun in his hand.

He looked at it as he twirled it around between his fingers. He took off the safety and put it on again. He took out the magazine, checked if it was full, put it back and twirled it around again.

"Josh?" Tyler called out as he approached the bedroom.

Josh quickly hid his gun in the corner of the closet underneath his army backpack. He knew Tyler was never gonna touch that backpack anyways.

He quickly closed the closet doors and shuffled back so he was sitting against the bed. The bedroom door opened.

"Josh? Jimmy finally stopped crying and immediately fell asleep since it wore him out. What are you doing on the ground?" Tyler asked.

"Eh, just... Thinking. Needed to think about... About what happened", he mumbled.

Tyler closed the door behind him and sat down next to his husband on the ground.

"It was really stupid", Tyler started.

"I know, I'm sorry", Josh said.

"I know you are, you don't have to tell me that. I just really hope that you realize that violence was not the answer... You could've walked away. You could've even walked away after one punch, but you couldn't stop", Tyler said.

"Yeah... I realized that. I should've walked away, I know. I just wasn't thinking clearly 'cause he was talking about you like that... And I couldn't handle it. I wanted to stop, I really did... I just..." Josh made some weird movement with his hands. "They didn't want me to stop", he mumbled, and Tyler understood that he was talking about his hands.

"Do they want to hold my hands?" Tyler asked.

"Fuck yes", Josh breathed out.

Tyler crawled on Josh's lap, so he was straddling Josh's waist. He then intertwined his fingers with Josh's and rested his forehead against Josh's.

"Babe?" Josh spoke up carefully. "Mhm?" was Tyler's answer.

"Did I... Did I scare you? Were you afraid of me?" Josh asked carefully as his voice cracked twice. "And please be honest with me", he whispered.

Tyler nuzzled his nose against Josh's.

"At that time, yeah. I was kinda scared. Not that I think that you'd ever do anything to me, 'cause I know you won't..." Tyler started. "But it was just a... A reflex, I think. It wasn't really being scared, it was more like... Being suspicious and alert. But I think that's just the daddy instinct. To protect Jimmy and myself, even though I know that you'll never do anything to him or me. I know you won't, baby, trust me", Tyler said.

Josh bit his lip and nodded slowly. His hands were trembling furiously, so Tyler tightened his grip on them more to get them steady.