Reckless ~ Sequel to Shameless {Bellamy Blake}

23~ Departure

*A week later*

I storm through the Ark, ignoring the wary looks I get from fellow Sky People. I see a blonde head a few feet away from me and immediately pounce on her. "Have you seen Bellamy?" I ask, anger invading my voice.

Clarke turns to me, her smile fades when she sees who it is. "Tatum, it was his choice. He's already made the decision to leave. You can't change that."

I glare at her, clenching my jaw. "Tell me where he is, Clarke. I just want to speak to him."

She sighs, rolling her eyes. "He's in the mess hall."

I nod and, without saying thanks, walk away in search of my boyfriend. 

I walk into the mess hall, looking around for the familiar mess of brown hair. When I spot him, his hands in his head and alone at one of the tables in the corner of the room, I frown. Could it really be that this effects him as much as it effects me? From what I've heard he made the decision in a heartbeat, not even stopping to think of the consequences.

I walk over to him, not bothering to quieten my footsteps. Even when I'm only a few yards from him he doesn't turn, doesn't even recognise my existence. I sit next to him. "Bellamy?"

He looks up, his fingers untangling from his hair. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, the bags under his eyes and slight frown on his face make him look even more exhausted. He nods to me, not saying a word.

I feel my blood boil. "Really? You're not going to say anything? What are you thinking, going to Mount Weather. Have you lost your damn mind!?"

He finally looks me directly in the eyes. He speaks, his voice the quietest I think I've ever heard it. "I have to go. For our people, Tatum."

"I understand that." I say, my voice strained. "But...I can't lose you." My eyes tear up. 

Bellamy grabs my hand. "You're not going to lose me. We just need an inside man. Someone to report back. And no one else was up for it."

"I'll do it." 

"Absolutely not." Bellamy practically yells. 

"Then I'll go with you."

"Tatum, no. You have to stay here. You have to make sure we keep the alliance with the Grounders." Bellamy says. 

"That's not a good enough reason for me to let you risk your life like this alone. We said we would do this together, right?"

Bellamy runs his hands through his hair frustratingly. "You still haven't recovered from what happened last week."

I glance down at my bandaged wounds. "I'm fine, Bellamy. I'm strong and you know that." 

"You are not coming with me." Bellamy says his voice harsh. 

"I'm not letting you do this alone." I fight back. 

"I've made my decision, Tatum. Whether you like it or not. I'm helping our people and by the looks of it all you're worried about it yourself." 

"Excuse me?" I yell. "I'm worried about our people too. That's why I'm offering to go with you. I was in there! I saw what they were doing to the Grounders. But I'm also worried about you. You're going in there alone, about to fight an entire mountain of people. It's dangerous, Bellamy."

"I know it is." Bellamy says, looking at the floor. "But something has to be done."

I let out a loud sigh. "How're you getting in?" 

Bellamy looks up, surprised. "What?"

"How're you getting in?" I repeat. "You can't just walk in. If you're going, I need to know you're at least getting in smartly."

"Lincoln." Bellamy answers. "He and I are going disguised as Reapers."

I nod, "That's smart." I say, my voice dropping as I look down at the floor. "Promise me you'll be safe."

Bellamy grabs my hands again and forces me to look up at him. "I promise."

"Bellamy," A voice comes from behind me. I turn and see Lincoln standing at the entrance of the mess hall. "We need to get going."

"Tell me you're coming back." I say not allowing myself to cry. "Tell me you're not leaving me for good."

"Tatum, I promised, didn't I?" Bellamy says caressing my face with his hand. "I promise I'm coming back. I'm not leaving you."

I nod and feel my heart drop as Bellamy's hand leaves my face. He plants a light kiss to my cheek and slips away, walking after Lincoln. I don't turn around, I just stare at the silver wall of the Ark's mess hall, wondering what to do next. 

And then my hands start shaking. I look down at them, curious as to why they are shaking. And that's when a drop of cool water falls down on them. That's when I realize I'm actually crying. I wouldn't let myself cry in front of Bellamy, but now he's gone. Now he's gone and I can't hold it back any longer. My mouth opens and a loud gasp comes from it as I struggle for air. I feel my whole body begin to shake as I reach out for something to hold onto. I find a table and hold onto it like my life depended upon it. I grasp it between my palms and drop my hand, letting the tears out. A painful cry comes from my mouth and echoes around the empty mess hall. And that's when I realize. 

I'm alone. 

I'm alone without Bellamy.